I don't know, maybe its because I am so "great with child" this year, but I have had Mary on my mind a lot this Christmas season. What was it really like for her, those many years ago? And the more I think about it, the more I study it, the more I teach my children about why we even have Christmas, the more I realize that I believe we not only trivialize Christmas, but more so, we romanticise it.
Now, we know that just because we celebrate Christmas in December doesn't mean that is when Jesus was born. It wasn't necessarily on December 25th, in the deep trenches of winter. But that is when we, as a people, have set aside to remember the miraculous virgin birth of the Messiah. Unfortunately, much of the world has "forgotten" the true reason for this holiday and trivialized it with notions of a man in red who somehow makes it to every house all over the world in one night, delivering gifts to all the "nice" children and eating cookies and drinking glasses of milk (sure sounds like a good bribe for parents to threaten their children with to be good so they will receive gifts).
And it is easy for us as Christians to get caught up in that nonsense. But, even if we don't get caught up in that hoopla, we are just as guilty of something just as "bad." We have our parties, our banquets, our church programs, our plays, and cantatas. We sing songs such as Joy to the World, Away in a Manger, and Silent Night. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with any of that. But let's think about it in a different way for just a minute...
Mary and Joseph we betrothed. In studying the culture of that time, we know that Mary was probably between the ages of 12-14. Joseph was "engaged" to Mary. During this engagement time, Mary was visited by an angel. And this angel told her that she was going to conceive - still being a virgin - and that baby was going to be the promised Messiah. Can you imagine? We don't know exactly how the angel appeared - whether it was a bright glowing being like we tend to see in the movies, or if it was a regular looking person that had some trait to where she knew it was not from this earth. But either way, she was visited by this angel, and her life was forever changed.
I think of the thoughts that would have gone immediately through her mind. How could she conceive? She and Joseph were not married yet. She had never been with a man. What would this mean when she was found to be with child before marriage? What would Joseph say? Would he believe her about the angel? What would everyone else say? I can imagine that not only those thoughts of fear and uncertainty went through her mind, but also thoughts of awe, excitement, and honor. The Jews knew the Messiah was coming. They knew He would have a miraculous birth. It probably was every young Jewish girl's dream to be the chosen one to carry the Christ-child in her womb. And now, Mary was being told that SHE was that one. SHE would bear the Messiah. SHE had found favor in God's sight. Yes, I think awe mixed with fear might be a good way to explain how she felt.
Fast forward to about 9 months later. Oh, it had been a tough 9 months - not even including all the regular pregnancy things a woman goes through. People hadn't believed Mary. Even Joseph struggled with the facts until he was visited by an angel confirming all Mary had told him. Mary was sent away for a while to get away from the gossip, scrutiny, etc. And now, nearing the end of her pregnancy, there was the decree from Ceasar. Mary and Joseph now had to pack up and leave her family and home that she has always known, to travel to Bethlehem for the tax.
I remember so clearly, just after Matt and I were married and we were getting ready to leave the church to go on our honeymoon. The limo was waiting and the guests had their rose petals all ready to throw at us. We were inside, saying goodbye to our parents. And I felt the change that was taking place in my life. I was no longer the single daughter of my parents. I was a married woman. The relationship with my parents was suddenly changing. The responsibility of me was now moved to my husband. Oh, it didn't mean that my parents were no longer an important role in my life. But their role had changed. As I hugged my mom and dad goodbye, the tears couldn't help but come. Of course, it would only be a short while before I would see them again. It wasn't a "see you in 20 years" goodbye (really I saw them just under 2 months later). But the tears still came. Life was changing - not in a bad way. But it was changing. And change isn't always easy.
But it wasn't quite the same with Mary. She didn't know when she would return to her family and home - if ever. It wasn't like she could hop on a plane or bus whenever she wanted. She was leaving with Joseph, her soon to be husband, whom she probably didn't know that well. She was going to a place she probably had never been before. And on top of all that, she was soon to deliver her first child, the Christ child. She was most likely like most girls are - wanting their mom there by their side to help them through that wonderful yet very unknown time in their life - having their first baby. But her mom wouldn't be there to help her through it. I can imagine there were some tears then, for sure.
So Mary and Joseph leave and begin the journey to Bethlehem. Mary, ready to have her baby at any time. Now, I am still 4 weeks out from my due date, and I can't imagine going on any time of trip right now. I'm so large and uncomfortable even the thought of going to the grocery store in a comfy van with a soft seat is a bit exhausting. And Mary had to travel, either by foot or on a donkey. How comfortable would that be? I don't know exactly how many days it was that they traveled, but I am sure it seemed much longer to Mary. She may have longed for some place to lie down - some place soft to rest her weary body.
Imagine the sigh of relief she may have felt when, up ahead, Bethlehem came into view. Whew! The end was in sight! Finally, they could find a place in an inn and she would then be able to prepare and rest for the delivery, which she knew was imminent. But then, wait! No room? Each place they go to was full! No one - no one had any room for them! The timeline is somewhat unclear here, but it may have been that perhaps during their search she did begin to labor. Oh, it wasn't too painful at first, but then it was slowly becoming more intense and she needed to lie down! Joseph may have begun to panic - nervous that they would never find a place! But finally, one person offers all that they have - their stable - their barn - for them to stay in. Perhaps if that person knew what was about to take place - Who was about to be born - they would have offered their own home and bed instead. Perhaps. But still, they offered something.
A stable? Have you been in a stable or barn lately? Where we live is surrounded by farms. Our church is downhill (and often downwind!) of a dairy farm. I can assure you that often times the odor is less than pleasant. My sense of smell is so sensitive when I am pregnant, that sometimes when the wind blows and I catch that "country perfume," I actually start gagging. It stinks. Imagine being in the barn - right at the source of those smells. It stunk. It wasn't clean. It was filthy. And the noise! The animals eating and mooing, and spitting, and whatever else - it was noisy. Definitely NOT a Silent Night.
And this was where Mary was to deliver not only her first child, but the Messiah! But they had no choice. I'm sure that Mary had assisted in deliveries before, so she may have had some idea of what was to take place. But its a whole different story going through it herself. I can imagine that, before she left her home, her mother gave her advice and instructions on what to do. Her mom may have even given her some supplies to use during and after the birth - including some scrap cloth to wrap the baby in. We often portray and imagine the "swaddling clothes" as crisp, clean, sparkling while cloths that baby Jesus was swaddled in. But it probably wasn't the case. It may have been well worn, even a bit dirty from the trip. Its only called "swaddling clothes" because Jesus was swaddled in it. Nothing special about the clothes.
Now think of this - when the time came for the intense part of labor and the pushing, Mary didn't have a midwife or nurse there to help her. It was just Joseph. She didn't have medication or epidurals to turn to. Joseph most likely had assisted in the births of animals, but never a baby. He must have been terrified, seeing the looks of agony on her face and hearing the cries of pain. And then think of this - Mary and Joseph had not been together physically yet. And here he was, in a stable, far from their families, helping her deliver the baby. Can you think there may have been some awkwardness there? I certainly think so. And so there they were. Mary and Joseph - in a stable - surrounded by animals, Mary giving birth. And there, with Mary and Joseph - in a stable - surrounded by animals, Mary gave birth to Jesus - the promised Messiah.
When we look at our Nativity scenes we usually see Mary and Joseph - looking at the manger with baby Jesus in it all wrapped in clean clothes. There are shepherds and wise men (which, by the way - were not there just after he was born. Well, the wise men, I mean). The animals are there, but keeping their distance. All is perfectly neat and happy and content and calm and quiet.
But I don't think it was calm. I don't think it was even quiet. Joseph may have had to keep pushing the animals away from Mary and the baby. It stunk. It was dirty. Mary was sore, tired, and probably nervous about being not only a mother, but Jesus' mother. She was exhausted, as I am sure Joseph was from the traveling, the sleepless nights, the worrying and the searching for a room.
Why do I say all this? Because I think we should look at it like it is. The circumstances, the surroundings, the events. All are not how we would imagine how the King of Kings and Lord of Lords should come. Its not how the Savior of the world should make His entrance. Its not how it all should be. But that is how God chose to send His son. That is how Jesus CHOSE to come.
It wasn't a "Silent Night." Perhaps baby Jesus did cry some when the "cattle were lowing." It was dirty, and smelly. And why did all this happen? For ME. For you. All this was for us. This lowly, unlovely birth happened so that Jesus could die for us. For you. For me.
So yes, we tend to trivialise Christmas. But we also romanticise it. We make it all pretty and sparkly and sadly even trivial. How sad. But when I look at it with its honest and lowly circumstances, how Christ's birth truly was, it makes this celebration of Jesus' birth even more meaningful to me. It makes it more holy. It makes it even more humbling that Christ would come to earth and die for me, a worthless, rotten sinner who can do no good apart from God.
Now that is love.
Merry Christmas.
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