It's Confession Time Again

So, my blogging has been a bit, uh, nonexistent since we moved here to Alberta.  That has been for many reasons.  We've been busy.  We've been adjusting to a new church, new places, new everything.  We love living here.  We love our new church.  We love the town. We love the area.  But there was one thing we haven't loved.  And I need to confess.  I've had a very bad attitude about it.  Let me explain.

When we left New Brunswick, we knew the church we were going to, but beyond that, we didn't know much more.  We were still taking a step of faith.  Our home there had not yet sold.  But we knew this was what God had for us, so we knew He had a plan.  Well, wouldn't you know that just a few hours down the road after we left, we got a call from our realtor and we had an offer on the house!  But, it was not enough to cover a down payment on a new house, so we knew we would be renting for a while.  We had a house we were planning to rent for at least 6 months.

After 8 days of travel we arrived in Ponoka and went to our rental.  I knew it wasn't going to be the Plaza or anything.  Some people in the church had seen it and told us it was in need of a good scrubbing.  The house came furnished if we wanted it to be.  Well, we walked in and my heart dropped a little.

It was quite dirty.  It smelled.  The furniture that was there was not much of what I would want to use.  And there was junk everywhere.  We went down to the basement and saw even worse.  The carpet was ripped and stained all over the place.  Dog hair and, um, "droppings"  were on floor too.  It was even more stinky than upstairs.  We walked into one of the rooms and my mouth dropped open.  It was floor to ceiling, all four walls covered in black chalkboard paint. And that was covered in all kinds of inappropriate phrases, words and drawings.  We immediately had the kids leave as we did not want Liam reading any of it.  There were symbols that I'm to sure what all they mean, but don't want to.  It was awful.

I was very disappointed, but knew we had no other option so I would just have to deal with it.  So we did.  We had a deal with the landlord that we would paint the interior of the house if she would drop the monthly rent by $300.  So, we obviously knew which room to do first.  Now, let me tell you, if you ever get the notion to paint a WHOLE room with chalkboard paint, DON'T DO IT!  It is very, very hard to paint over.  And you have to use oil based paint.  And you have to sand it first.  It took Matt several days to do that one small room.  And oil based paint is very potent in the fumes department.

So, that was the house when we moved in.  But more than that, the next few months were not the best experience house wise for us.  There was a lot wrong with the house, and our landlord didn't do much about it.  In truth, I don't think she had much experience as a landlord, and she now lives out of town, so I don't think she really had much of an idea as to what she needed to do.  But I had a bad attitude about it all.

I had a bad attitude that we had to clean the house, and the carpet when we moved in (And when we moved out).  I had a bad attitude when she just told us the dishwasher didn't work, that the back door  was broken, but didn't do anything to fix it.  I had a bad attitude when we agreed to store all her things for her, so we couldn't use any of the storage space or the garage for our things.  I had a bad attitude that several windows were broken, and that the kids' room in the basement had a mildew smell that just kept getting worse and worse.

But I think the straw that broke the camels back was last month.  We had a major rainstorm with very strong winds.  So strong, that the next day, we realized one of the already sickly trees had cracked and one part of it was laying on the house, right over the front door and ready to completely fall to the ground at the next big gust of wind.  We texted her and sent her pictures asking what she wanted us to do.  Her answer? "I don't have any money, so just leave it."  Um, no.  Wrong answer.  My children, along with about 10 other neighbourhood children play in our front yard each and every day.  It is not safe to just leave and that would not be an option. 

I got quite upset, but Matt handled it well, much better than me.  He told her that if she gave him written permission to take care of it and that she would not hold us liable for any possible damage to the house, then he would see to it.  She gave him permission and he called a few men from church and they came with ropes and chainsaws, etc. and cut the whole tree down.  I was so relieved that it was taken care of, but still really irritated that she didn't seem to care about our safety.

That happened on a Thursday evening.  On Saturday morning, one of those men came back to finish cleaning up all the debris.  I was so thankful that we had such willing and ready helpers in the church.  And talented people....

Later the next week, Matt came home from church with a gift for us.  It was a bowl.  Not just any bowl, but a wooden bowl.  Made from the tree that was taken down from our house.  Its a beautiful bowl that will have a great function.  And the Lord has used it to teach me a lesson.

Sometimes we have frustrating and difficult circumstances in our lives.  Whether it be a work situation, a family issue, or a landlord thing.  It can be upsetting, frustrating, difficult or just plain unfair.  It can make absolutely no sense to us.  It can be devastating.  But in all that, in all the trial and turmoil, the tears, fears, and frustrations, God can and will, if we are willing, take that "bad" thing and turn it into something beautiful and useful. 

Like my bowl.  It was a weak, old tree, that wasn't much use for anything but blocking our view from one of the rooms.  But it is now turned into a gorgeous bowl useful for a number of things.

Now, although we had a frustrating 6 months, God has allowed us to make good friendships with the neighbours in that neighbourhood, especially our kids.  God knew our kids needed to make friends their ages to help the transition.  God knew I needed that.

And now, as of last Saturday, we are moved into a beautiful home.  One that is TONS nicer and a much better layout for us.  One that we are renting until January, then going to buy (more on that in another post).  One that we LOVE.  One that is beautiful and definitely fully functional.

So now, I keep that bowl out on my counter top so that I see it - often.  It is a constant reminder to me that something beautiful can come out of something not so beautiful.  That God can and will make something beautiful out of the hard circumstances in life.

So I confess.  I have had a bad attitude.  But I am trying to do much better.  God has made sure to remind me of that.

Until next time...

I've Got A Confession

I've been a "bad" mom lately.  I've been very frustrated with my children.  I've lost my temper.  I have raised my voice way above where I would ever want to admit.  I've wanted to scream.  I've just up and walked out of a room where they all were and told them that I will come back a little later.  I've had a hard time with the parenting thing, these past few weeks.

Maybe its because it is still so cold outside that we are stuck indoors a large part of the time.  Maybe it is because we are all still adjusting to a new place.  Maybe it is because our sweet 14 month old still does not sleep for more than 4 hours at a time.  Which makes this one exhausted momma. And the incessant whining, bickering, and fighting from the other three is getting to me. Maybe it is just because I'm a sinner, my children are sinners, and we are all trying to live in the same house, sinning together.  Whatever the excuse I could throw at you won't change the fact that I have just plain been struggling.  I've had to apologize to my children for how I have been.  I've been irritated with myself for my struggling.

But God brought me a great reminder this morning, oddly enough, through Facebook.  I got up this morning, and sat with my kids as they were watching Doc McStuffins.  I had my iPad and was browsing through Facebook "just to see what was happening in the world."  And that's when I saw a post from one of our friends.  They had commented on a page of some couple who were announcing that their precious, nearly 1 month old baby, was now home with Jesus.  Immediately my eyes were filled with tears and I was ashamed.

From what I can gather, this baby girl was this couple's first child.  And due to complications (placental abruption, I believe) the baby at birth had gone 9 minutes without a heartbeat or oxygen.  She was revived, but had brain injuries.  She was kept alive for about 20 days, but last night, God took her home.  The post said that she was in the arms of her mommy and daddy when she left this world.

My heart aches for this couple.  Even now I can barely type because of the tears in my eyes. I do not know this couple, probably never will.  But the pain and ache I feel for them is nothing compared to what they must be feeling.  I have been lifting them up to God in prayer ever since I saw that post.  Praying for strength and comfort.  For acceptance and growth spiritually.

It was through this post that God touched my heart and reminded me to take a step back, look around, and be thankful.  Be thankful that I am surrounded by 4 beautiful children who are healthy.  Be thankful that I can look into the bright blue eyes of all 4 of them and tell them, "I Love You!"  Be thankful that I can pick them up, squeeze them tight and kiss their soft cheeks.  Be thankful that I can smile at them, and receive a huge smile in return.  Be thankful.  To just be thankful.

Then God reminded me of this post I read a few weeks ago.  This sweet mom has a precious daughter with many health problems.  Her daughter is completely dependent upon her parents for everything.  They can't carry on a conversation with her.  They can't enjoy the experience of their child running and jumping into their arms.  They can't experience all the "normal" childhood stages like others.  And yet, she has a very positive attitude about it all.  Oh, I know she probably has her bad days, but still, this post made me, again, stop and be thankful.

So why am I writing all this?  Its not because I want any sympathy or whatever.  I am writing this for a reminder for myself.  To be thankful.  I have been struggling lately.  I am exhausted.  I sometimes do feel like screaming.  And all those feelings will come and go, off and on, over our parenting experience.  But I want to remind myself that, yes, I will struggle.  But when I do, try to remember to stop, pause, and thankful God for His blessings.  To hug and kiss my children as often as possible.  To play with them.  To sit  down and talk with them.  To listen to them.  To spend time with them.

And to pray for those who are aching for children gone on whom cannot do any of those things with here on earth.

Until next time....

Romatic Ideals

Well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  The "Day of Love."  Or, for us this year, "Duct Tape Day" (we have youth group on Thursday nights and this week is everything duct tape.  Its lots of fun!).  And in case you are wondering, yes, Matt is going to youth group on Valentine's Day and I will be home with the kids.  And yes, I am totally okay with that.  Seriously.  There may have been a time in my life when I would have thought that was terrible - not spending Valentine's evening with your special someone.  Which leads me to the purpose of this post - how my ideals of romance have changed over the years.

When I was in high school, I would spend ample amounts of time talking with my sister, friends, and even my parents about what I thought was romantic, or what I wanted my husband to do/be like.  I would daydream about cold winter nights - bundled up under a blanket in an open carriage ride looking at the gleaming Christmas lights in the falling snow. My guy would be there, whispering all the sweet things people whisper about on carriage rides.  I dreamed about getting engaged in a hot air balloon (really, I did!) overlooking the beautiful Colorado Rocky Mountains.  I dreamed about breakfast in bed every Saturday, long walks in the evenings holding hands, my man always saying things like, "my life only began when I first met you!" and other silly things like that.  I dreamed about cuddling up on the couch watching Pride and Prejudice (cuz we all know every guy LOVES to watch all 6 hours of that one!).  I would imagine that once I was married we would wake up every morning (with smiles on our faces, minty fresh breath, hair perfectly in place and no sleep crusties in our eyes, mind you) and snuggle a good 10 minutes before getting up to start the day.  I would dream, plan, and dream some more.

Those things are all romantic, and nice, but its not what gets my attention anymore.  Instead, its the offers to let me go rest and take a nap when I am tired.  Its the doing the dishes so I don't have to.  Its the, "I'll be in charge of supper tonight." Its the changing the poopy diapers.  Its the playing with our children and making them giggle with delight.  Its the look across the dining room table that says, "We are so blessed."  Its the working together to train our children to do what is right.  Its the reading a Bible story and singing together as a family each night before bed.  Its the praying together as a couple.  Its the hugging and crying together when our hearts are burdened and we want to be there for each other.  Its the random texts that just say, "I love you."  These things are my idea of romance.

You see, I used to think romance was just all the things my husband would do for me.  But now, I realize it is more than that, its also the things he does with me.  Oh, yes, I do love the surprises and things he does just for me.  But more so I love the things we do together.  The family we have created together.  The life we have together.  The love that we have grown together. Together.  I love being together.  I love learning more about God, ourselves and life together.  That's what is romantic to me.

It was Valentine's Day, 9 years ago that Matt and I had our first "official" date.  I was excited and a little nervous.  But in looking back, I somehow knew from even that early stage that this was the guy for me, the one I wanted to be with.  It was never a doubt.  I am so thankful for my husband and the life and love we have grown since that time.  We haven't had the perfect life.  We both have made mistakes, we both have learned a lot.  God has taught us so much by bringing us through some trials.  But I am so thankful for the man I have had at my side through it all.  I truly did marry my sweetheart, the love of my life.

So, this Valentine's Day, I am thinking on all the things my special someone and I get to do together - every day.  That is so much better than any of the things I used to always think about.  Because it is real.  So, my ideals of romance have changed.  And I am glad.

Thank you, Matt, for loving me, for marrying me, and helping me see what is really, truly romantic.  I love you.  Happy Valentine's Day!

New Furniture and Other Exciting Things

So, moving is a big deal.  I mean, if you "just" move across town, it takes a lot of organizing, etc.  but moving across the country takes more organizing and planning than any one person can do!  That's what is so great about having a husband/wife team that work together to get things done.

You may remember me talking about selling a lot of our stuff.  That was such a busy time.  I never realized it would take so much out of me to coordinate prices, meeting times, etc.  But, I stuck with it and all the money I made I had set aside to use here when we settled in. So the past several weeks or so we have been able to purchase things that we needed.  And it has been so nice to pay cash for things and know that I worked hard that cash!

The first thing we bought was a dishwasher.  The one here on our rental did not work (I think it was older than I am!).   And, although it is a considered a luxury to many people, it is a necessity to me.  I have enough to do in my day besides stand at the sink three times a day and do dishes.  It takes too much time, and it's hard on my back to just stand in one place for a period of time. So we were able to purchase that.  We told the landlord we bought it, but that when we move out, we are taking it with us.  Sorry, Charlie.  I'm not that generous! (By the way, her name is not Charlie! Haha!).

Then we were on the hunt for living room furniture.  The landlord had a set, but they are falling apart, pretty dirty and smelly, and I wanted my own set.  So we were constantly looking at Kijiji (that's the Canadian version of Craigslist, for those of you who didn't know) for a good deal.  But we weren't finding one.  Either it was a great price but in not great condition, or just plain ugly that would cost a lot to recover.  So, we decided to just buy new.  And, with it being not too long after Christmas, there were some great deals.  So off to the furniture store we went (yes, with all the kids I tow).  We were there for quite some time sitting down on couch after couch.  I had almost decided on a couch when all of a sudden, I walked over to another side of the store and immediately saw the one I wanted. ( I say "I" because Matt was just saying, "You get what you like.  I'm fine with whatever you want."  He's of the mind "happy wife, happy life."  Haha! I'm so spoiled!).

I sat on the couch, loved it immediately, as did Matt.  Liam even said he liked it best, so we did up the paperwork, paid for it, and it was delivered three days later!  Can I just say I LOVE them!  Love, love, love them!  It was kinda funny at one point.  We were giving the lady our info, and another worker who had also helped us was standing nearby.  When they heard our last name, they both smiled and said,  "Sealy - are you related to the people who make the mattresses?" (We get this question a lot!)  We just looked at them and said, "If we were, we certainly would be buy a genuine leather sectional instead!"  Haha!

So, we had the couches, but, now we needed a coffee table and end tables and lamps.  Since this house is about 30 or more years old, there is no overhead lighting in the main rooms, so you definitely need lamps.  And I sold/gave away all of mine!

That Saturday we headed off to Edmonton, the big city about an hour north of us, where there is an Ikea.  I had never been to one, but have wanted to go for a long time.  So, we loaded up all of us (we don't really have anyone that knows the kids well enough yet to babysit), and went to Ikea.  On a Saturday.  It was crazy busy, but kinda fun.  And we found a coffee table, two lamps, and some Expedit bookshelves to use as end tables.  I love them too!  I'm quite happy with our purchases!  And again, so thankful to be able to pay cash for all of it!

The next thing we wanted was a dining room table.  Again, there was one here, with four chairs.  So, since we had moved we hadn't been able to sit together at the table as a family.  So we had been just looking for some cheap chairs.  But, we would need a table when we moved from here anyway, so we again looked around on Kijiji.  Well, we had emailed several people about stuff, but either it had already sold. Or we never heard back.  Until one Monday night, two weeks ago.  Matt found a table and six chairs set for sale for $200 OBO, so we emailed them, gave them our best offer, and by supper time the next night we were sitting at it - all together as a family!  I love the table and chairs, and love that we can all sit together as a family again!

I think that, for now, we are good an furniture.  We still don't have beds for Liam and Leila (we have mattresses, just not bed frames) but that can wait for a while.  We actually want bunk beds but I want a good, solid wood set and those are hard to find and often expensive.  So we will just bid our time on that for now.

Now that holidays are over, we are settling in to our new normal.  Its funny, over the last 5 months I got so used to having Matt around all the time, that its really different with him back to work.  I miss him! :-)  He is pretty busy, but not as busy as before.  I can't tell you what a world of difference it makes with having two pastors in a church, and not just one.  If you are in a church with only one pastor, I hope you pray A LOT for him (actually, I hope you pray for your pastors, no matter how many you have! :-) ).  But if you have only one pastor, he has an incredible load to carry.  Pray for him.  Encourage him.  HELP him in whatever area you can.  Believe me.  A little help and encouragement goes a LOOOONNNNGGGGG way.

Well, we have lots of other exciting things going on, which I plan to write all about soon.  Plus, I have a big change coming up with this blog.  Stay tuned..... ;-)

Until next time.....

I'm Back!

So, is anyone still out there?  It's been a while, huh?  Well, I'm hopefully back for good, now!  Let me see if I can bring you up to speed on our lives lately.  Here we go!

- Obviously, we made It safely to Alberta, our new home.  The trip here was, well, long!  It took us a total of eight days to get here - seven of those actually on the road.  Our sixth day we got to Manitoba  at our friends, Rob and Lena's house.  They actually had just moved there from New Brunswick just a few months before.  You know you're good friends when they let your family of six stay with you in your new house the day after you moved in!  They have three kids the same ages as our three youngest and it was so nice to see them.  We decided to stay an extra night and day to just have a break from the road.  I think the kids needed it and they loved being out of the car and playing with their friends.  It worked out nicely as it turns out I got one of my really bad headaches that day.  You know, the kind where I can only lay down in a quiet, dark room with my eyes covered in order to get rid of it.  That would have been miserable to deal with in the car!

- We got here on Wednesday, December 5, around 3:30 in the afternoon.  We stopped by the house we are renting to see it for the first time, and then headed over to the church building.  The kids were able to meet the pastor and his wife and the secretary and see the building.  Then we headed out to some church members house where we stayed for the next three days.

-  We didn't stay at "our" house for a few days because it, we'll, it needed a good cleaning.  It basically needed a GOOD scrubbing from top to bottom.  Ad I didn't want to stay there with Lexi crawling all around before we could clean the carpets.  So a sweet couple was kind enough to take us in.

- The Friday after we got there, a bunch of ladies met us at the house and we cleaned and cleaned.  What a blessing that was!  There was even a mom in the church who offered to watch our kids for us so we wouldn't have to worry about them.  The neat thing is that her good friend who has four young kids lives right across the street from us, and they both watched our kids there so they kids were close to me and they got to meet and play with the neighbour kids.  They loved that.

- Exactly one week after we got here, the moving truck arrived with our things.  That was an exciting day!  And overwhelming. Remember all that packing I did?  Well now I had to UN - pack everything!  I'm still not totally done, but the most Important things are done.

- We love, love, love our church.  They have welcomed us with open arms.  We have been invited over to their homes, given furniture (remember how I sold most of our other furniture?), and truly felt welcomed.  They had a special welcome fellowship for us, and took up an offering to help us with the settling in expenses.  Let me just say the amount blew us off our feet.  On top of that, we have been given beef to fill our freezer, jams, and so much other goodies to fill our pantry.  This church body has been so giving.  The kids got more Christmas gifts than they even needed, as well.  We are truly humbled by their generosity.

- After only being here for a little over two weeks, we took off again on another road trip.  Apparently we thought we hadn't had enough of the car.  But actually, we drove 20 hours south to surprise my family for Christmas.  All along we were telling them we didn't think we were going to be able to come.  But, due in part to the extreme generosity of the church people, we were able to go, we just didn't tell anyone. (In case you didn't know, my side of the family tries to get together every other year for Christmas).  So, we drove through the big ole state of Montana, and then Wyoming and finally Colorado.  We took two days to do this.  We got there around four in the afternoon, on December 21.  I had been praying the whole time that God would work it our that we could totally catch my parents off guard.  S when we pulled on their street, and saw my parents going to their neighbours to deliver some goodies, I new it wasn't going to be as fun to yell "surprise!"

But, God knew what my hearts desire was and my parents didn't notice us - even though my mom looked RIGHT at our van!  S the went around the corner to the neighbours door.  We quickly jumped out of the car, telling the kids to be quiet.  We all stood in a line in the driveway.  My dad came around the corner first and just stopped in his tracks, staring at us - not saying a word.  My mom came right behind him, almost ran into him, then looked up at us.  We all together yelled, "Merry Christmas!"  Well, my mom's mouth dropped to the ground almost, she started to cry, and said, "What are you doing here?" We then all started hugging and laughing and it was great!  My brother Jeremy and his family were there as well.  They must have heard the commotion as they all came out of the house and we all hugged and such.  The surprise couldn't have gone better.  It was awesome!

- We spent 10 days in Colorado and it was great to be with my family.  I hadn't seen my brother's Kip and Jeremy and their families for two years - since the last time we were out there.  And they hadn't meet Lexi yet.  So it was really nice to see them.  We had a great Christmas, complete with kids getting that awful stomach virus.  One night my sis-in-law Jenni and I were up all night with kids who were throwing up every few minutes.  Thankfully, though, Lexi didn't get it.  Its so much worse the younger they are.  And that virus is pretty bad.  Be thankful if it hasn't reached your household!

- Once we got back to Alberta, it was time to resume life and get on with our new normal.  Matt officially started at church, we started back up to school (we are still a bit behind, but we have an good excuse - at least I think so), and life has sorta slowed down.  We have been sort of in a state of limbo the past 5 months since July, so it is nice to have some normalcy again.

- We are loving living here.  I love the town, I love the church.  I'm thankful for the home we are able to rent and we are very happy here.  It was a hard transition - this past year was not one I would necessarily want to repeat.  But God showed Himself so real in so many ways.  He took care of us in ways I could never have imagined.  Honestly, we have been without an official paycheck since the end of July.  We still won't get one for another two weeks.  But we have not gone in want for anything.  If anything, we have had more than we ever have in our married life.  And that is all attributed to our awesome, incredible, and loving God.

So, I suppose that, in a somewhat large nutshell, fills you in on us.  It feels good to be back to blogging, although I really haven't had the time or energy (yes, it takes energy to blog) to sit at the computer lately. But I'm back, so stay tuned to hear all about our new adventures in our new lives!

Until next time...

Go West, Sealy Family, Go West!

11:40 p.m. last night we got the call.  The church had just voted 100% unanimous to ask us to come to their church.  the phone call was put on speaker phone and Matt said everyone clapped and cheered for him! Haha!  Anyways, because they had it going through the speakers, Matt was able to accept the position as associate pastor when everyone could hear.  They are excited, we are excited.  As soon as we heard, a huge wave of relief covered us both.  After months of not being sure of pretty much anything, we now have it all official and now are making plans to move.

So my feelings went from being a little tiny bit nervous all day, to huge relief, to utter panic mode.  Panic because in just under four weeks, we will be pulling out of our current home and driving across Canada to make a new home in Ponoka, Alberta.  We have much to do - things to sort, organize, pack, sell, plan....  But I know it will all get done.  Its just going to be busy, busy, busy!

Thank you to those who have been praying and we ask that you continue to pray.  Our house has not sold, although our realtor just called and is meeting with someone who wants the house and is right now meeting with a broker to try to work out a mortgage.  We don't have a place to live out there just yet, but several church members have places we can rent for a month or two until we can find a house to either rent or buy.  Pray that we can find the least expensive way to move.  We are looking to buy some trailers to buy that we can pull behind two vehicles.  We could rent from uHaul, but the price is a bit outrageous since we live in a bit of a rural area and there is not much competition for them.

Pray for me to be able to sell all that I need to.  We have such limited space to take things with us, so I am selling all I can.  Its keeping me so busy just doing that!  Already my girls no longer have dressers, our swing set is sold, and lots of toys and other things are sold.  But I still have a bit more I need to get rid of.  Pray for me as I am still having to take it slowly.  Now that I can move my arm, it does get quite sore.  That's cause for a bit of frustration for me.

Pray for us as we drive.  Its pretty much winter time and that can be dangerous for travel.  Even this week the place we are moving has had well below freezing temps and snow and ice.  Pray for our safety.

We've had a long few months, but have seen God work in ways I would have never imagined.  All I can say is that He is good, all the time, no matter the circumstances.  And, His timing is always, always perfect!

Well, gotta go.  So much time, so little to do.  No wait, switch that.  (Haha.  Know what movie that is from?? :-)

Until next time....

Paid In Full

It's been eleven weeks now since we had our last Sunday at our church.  So much has happened, and yet not much has happened.  Make sense? Let me fill you in a little....

So, we finished at church, and that afternoon we headed off to Nemeska, Quebec, for a week.  Then we came home, and over the next few weeks we did more travelling for fun as well as Matt speaking at camp.  It was so busy we didn't have much time to think about our future.  As I have shared before, we knew we were doing exactly what God wanted us to do, so we weren't too worried.  Although we had our moments, me especially, of sheer panic.

Then it was getting into September and we still didn't know what was going to happen.  Our house was up for sale and gaining lots of interest. But no offers.  We had no income for more than a month. The first week after we were done, we received several incredibly generous gifts which had been providing for us so thus far, but no money since and the well was beginning to run dry.  Matt had been in contact with a church out in Alberta, and he had a weekend all set to go out there to meet the pastor and church.  But we still didn't know if this was going to be the place for us.  I was looking at surgery and quite a few weeks of recovery time.  Things just didn't seem to be going the way I had envisioned them.

Matt and I talked about how we felt like our lives were on hold and being patient was getting harder by the day.  I stopped checking our bank account every day because I would get a knot in my stomach watching it get down lower and lower.  I found myself worrying about it all.  Matt was feeling the huge burden of needing to provide for his family.  He had applied for unemployment, but was denied because he didn't have a good enough reason for leaving his other job.  The government doesn't understand the whole following Gods leading thing.  Matt was beginning to look for a "regular" job that he could start soon.

It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me- why God would lead us away only to "leave us hanging" so to speak.  I was praying for His will to be made known to us and soon!  We were just a few days away from not being able to pay our bills.  What are you doing, God?

Here I was, in the same place I always seem to get when things don't go my way.  Questioning what God was doing.  And there God was, in the same place He always is showing us His perfect provision and plan.  Matt flew out West and the weekend went great.  He loved the church and the church loved him.  My surgery went well and my recovery is going well.

One night about two weeks ago, I was just praying, telling the Lord how worried I was over our finances.  I was trying to trust Him, but was having a hard time doing so.  Wouldn't you know that the very next day we received yet another very generous and very unexpected gift in the mail?  And we received a phone call telling us our former church had taken up a love offering for us!  That right there would provide over two more weeks for us.  Then, the next day we got a bill in the mail.  As soon as I saw it my heart sank a little.  I had forgotten this was coming and we didn't have the extra really to pay it.  But as soon as I opened it up, I saw it was stamped "PAID" and at the bottom, in someone's handwriting it said, "Paid in full."  I stood there for a minute, looking at it, confused.  We didn't pay it!  But someone did.  Right then, I paused and in my heart thanked God for His perfect provision.  And asked forgiveness for my continued worry and lack of faith.

So, these past eleven weeks have not been the most fun time of our lives.  There have been some trying times. Some scary times.  But even more so, we have had some wonderful times.  Matt and I are seeing God completely take care of us with no help from us at all.  He is stretching our faith and trust in Him far beyond I would have ever thought.

Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada.  And I want to just thank the Lord for His goodness. He is so, so good.  We don't deserve any of this.  And yet He still showers us with His blessings.  As for our future, Matt and I fly back out to Alberta in a week and half for one more formal interview, but really the job has been offered to Matt and we have accepted.  We are really just waiting for me to recover and our house to sell, and we will be moving out west to start our new ministry.  Until then Matt has a job working for his dad which he is able to do from home.  We are being spoiled by having Daddy around all the time!

This has been a hard time for us, at least me.  But God is so good and taking such good care of us.  And in case I find myself starting to doubt again, I have a bill hanging on my fridge that says "Paid in full."  Thank you, Lord. Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving .  Until next time.....

Don't You Trust Me?

About a month ago, we went through a little phase with Leila.  It seems that, out of no where, she suddenly became terrified of the bath.  Actually, terrified seems like too light of a word.  I'm not really sure what brought it on, but one night we were going through our normal routine and she totally freaked out - screaming and climbing out of the tub.  She was shaking and her heart was pounding.  Totally took me off guard and I had no idea what was going on.  I checked the water - it was not too hot.  I didn't see any bugs in it (she flips out over flies!).  So I didn't know what was going on.

Somehow I got her cleaned - barely.  And thus began two weeks of the same thing.  I tried everything, but as soon as you would mention "bath" she would start crying hysterically.  One thing we did notice was she would keep glancing up at the shower head as she was crying.  It was then that I remembered that a while ago Libby had accidentally turned the shower on both of them, which completely scared them both.  But she had been fine after that until this episode, so I don't know if that was connected.

Anyway, we figured out she was afraid of the shower.  It got to the point that she would get in the tub, but only if the water was already in it and turned off.  But anytime my hand would go near the faucet or knob to turn on the water, the freaking out would commence.

It was so frustrating.  I didn't know what to do, or how to help.  We would talk about how the shower is not scary - it's just like rain.  And that I would not turn it on.  She would be fine until it was actually time to be in the tub.  If she even had the slightest thought I would move near the faucet, screaming she would go.

It doesn't sound as frustrating as it was.  But I even cried over it.  I didn't know what to do.  Matt and I kept praying with and for her.  I asked other moms at church if they went through it with any of their kids.  And I would keep reassuring Leila that I would NOT turn the shower on her!

I can remember, at one point near the end of the first week of this, looking at her in the eyes while she was crying and saying, "Leila, Mommy loves you and I have told you I won't turn on the shower.  Don't you trust me?" (Now, I know some of you are thinking, "C'mon, Emily.  She's four.  Does she even know what "trust" means? Well, probably not.  But I said it anyways.  Get over it. ;-) )

Later that night, as I was lying in my bed, praying for everything that was on my heart.  I was praying for Leila and for the Lord to help me teach Leila to not be afraid and to trust me.  Then I started pouring my heart out to God about our situation, about how scared I was of the future, how I just wanted to know what was going to happen with us, how I was worried about our finances and how we were going to survive until Matt found work.  And then, like a big ol' knock to the head, it hit me.  It was like the Lord was saying, "Emily, I love and I have told you that I will take care of you.  Don't you trust me?"

I literally stopped mid-prayer, opened my eyes and stared into the darkness of my room.  I knew it then.  Yes, Leila had a legitimate fear of the shower.  But I knew that we were going through this for ME to learn this very important lesson.

God has promised in Hebrews 13:5, "...I will never leave you nor forsake you."  God says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Paul tells us in Philippians 4:19, "And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."  Jesus says in Matthew 6:34, "Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

I have known these verses since - I don't even remember learning them- that's how long I have known them.  I have quoted them to friends and family when trying to encourage them.  I wrote them out in Bible classes in high school and college.  I KNOW these verses.  But now, the Lord is asking me to LIVE them.

Here I was, frustrated because I wanted Leila to trust me, to believe me when I tell her I would not do something to hurt her.  I promised her that I would not turn on the shower.  But yet, she still would scream and cry.  And that's sort of what I was doing with God.

He has told me he has His plans.  He has tomorrow taken care of it.  He knows what's best for me.  He is able to take care of it all.  And there I am, crying and whining because I am scared and don't know what is gonna happen or if we are going to be okay.  And God is just wanting me to trust Him.

Let me tell you, I immediately asked God to forgive me for not trusting Him and resting in His capable hands.  And I let our life, our future, our family go back into His strong, perfect, capable care.  And I felt an overwhelming sense of PEACE come over me that I still feel to this moment.   I know God is in control.  I know He has it all planned out.  I know He is going to take care of us.  I know He hasn't forgotten about us.

And He's proving it to us everyday.  No, we still are not sure what is going to happen.  But we do have a door that seems to be open to us at the moment, so we are heading in that direction.  Matt is candidating at a church in Alberta in September for an associate pastor position.  As for our finances, God is taking care of that.  Just in the last week and a half, we have received (in several very unexpected ways) over 2 months worth of salary replacement!  Yes, God has it all in control.  He just needs me to trust Him.

As for Leila, it was just about two days after my "epiphany" that she said she wanted Daddy to bathe her and when he did - Not. One. Tear.  She was fine!  After Daddy bathing her for two days she was fine with me doing it again and we have been fine since!  Go figure!

You know, there are so many things I love about being a parent.  But one of the most humbling ones is how God uses their innocence to teach me so, so many lessons.  I have thought so much about this particular lesson since then because I know that God had the whole thing happen just for me.  We always spout out verses about trusting and obeying and having faith.  But its a whole lot harder to live it out.  I have been saved for 24 years.  And I still am learning these lessons all the time.

Another thing the Lord brought to my mind through all this was something I heard a preacher say in college.  He was talking about the will of God and how we make it some mystical, hard to figure out thing.  Then he said something that has stuck with me and always will.  He said, "If you can trust God with your eternity, then why can't you trust Him with your life?" Touche.  We seem to so easily trust Him with our salvation and our eternity with Heaven.  But we have a hard time with the here and now.  Seems a little, ridiculous, don't you think?  I certainly do.

I don't know what all is going on in your life.  But I ask you now - is God having to ask you, "Don't you trust me?"  Take it from me.  Just trust Him.  You will never regret.  Never.

Until next time...

Progression of a Family

In honor of our 7th anniversary tomorrow, I thought I would show our "progress" over the years through pictures!  Enjoy!

It all started with an "official"  date. February 2004.

And then we got engaged. October 2004

We got married! June 2005

Honeymoon! June 2005

Then we had our buddy - Liam. September 2006

Sweet Leila-girl joined us in June 2008.

Then enters Libby-cakes.  January 2010

And finally, we added our baby, little Lexi-bug.  January 2012

 Its been 7 wonderful years full of more blessings than we can count. 

(And some hardships, too.)  

God is truly so, so good. 

 Here's to the next 7!

Until next time.....
(Tune in tomorrow as I continue telling more of "Our Story")

Scenic..Monday.

Hello from the cold north!  Its been crazy weather here.  Last week we had super warm weather - like in the upper 70's and it was great!  I got to open all the windows and air out the house without freezing our tushies off.  We were actually quite warm at night and had to pull out some fans.  I also turned on a few of our ceiling fans and realized afterwards just how dusty they were.  Oops!  Guess there's another thing to add to my spring cleaning to do list! :-)  But then it turned cold again and we even left church yesterday morning with it snowing.  So now everyone, even the poor birds that flew back early are all confused.  I guess spring is still fighting a losing battle to come.  Soon, though.

Anyways, here are a few pictures of just stuff from around here.  Hopefully soon I will have the time (and mental power) to write more details about what's going on with us.

I don't think I have mentioned before that we live in a river valley.  There are several rivers all around us. Our church is right across the street from a river.  For obvious reasons, the rivers are always frozen over during the winter, and thaw out in the spring.  Each spring there is always some flooding that happens, but this spring it is a different story.  I guess because of the sudden heat "snap" we had, the rivers thawed faster than normal, which has caused MAJOR problems. We went on a family drive Friday night to go look at all the ice in the river.  The picture above Matt took.  It is in our downtown.  You can see all the ice, and I need to not that the level of the ice/water is FEET higher than normal.  

This is just to the right of the bridge in the picture above.  You can clearly see where the river has overflown and covered the road.

This is just a little father down the road from the top pictures.  So much ice and so incredibly higher than normal.  About five minutes after Matt took this picture, the ice broke and it all started floating downstream.  It usually flows okay until it bottlenecks somewhere and all the ice gets stuck and that's when the big problems start.

Thankfully our church is safe and our house is high enough that we don't have to worry.  But I can't say the same for a small town just a short ways from here.  Perth Andover has been declared to be in a state of emergency due to the flooding.  They had to evacuate the small hospital, which now the whole first floor is almost all under water.  Many homes were evacuated too.  And it all happened so fast that many people were not able to get out in time and had to be rescued by helicopter, etc.  And remember - this is Canada.  In the winter.  That water is COLD!!!!  Thankfully, no major injuries or deaths have been reported.  But many people have lost their homes.  The schools and hospital have been greatly damaged. There is a lot that is going to need to be done to repair all the destruction.  Please pray for the people of Perth Andover.  It is not a large town and many of the people are not wealthy and do not have much.  What they did have is now gone.  We do have a couple in our church who live there, but their house is also high enough that they are safe, but they are unable to get anywhere out of town without going far out of the way.  We are glad that they are safe!

So, you all know that due to the circumstances, Lexi is being formula fed.  She was not nursing well and therefore, was not gaining weight.  In 2 weeks time she only gained about 2 ounces.  Not good.  But, she has been on formula for month now, and we had a dr. appt last Thursday and found that she gained 1 1/2 pounds in less than 3 weeks!  Praise the Lord!  She is a lot more contented now and I am so happy that she if back on track with her weight gain.  But, formula is expensive.  So that has been an extra expense we have had to figure out how to fit in the budget.  But, as always, God provides for our needs.  While at the dr. on Thursday, I asked them if they happened to have any coupons or samples of formula.  Well, the look on the nurses face was priceless!  She almost was relieved that I asked!  She said they get formula all the time, and if no one asks for it and it expires, they have to throw it out.  So she gave me the only package they had at the time, but said she would call me when they got more in.  And I was absolutely shocked when she handed me not a sample, but a full size can of formula! (The big one on the bottom right is the one she gave me!!!)  That size cost $30 in the store!  Then she called her mom who works at another dr. office and asked if they had any.  Her mom had 7 cans to give me, so we drove over there to get them from her!  And both said they would let me know when more came in!!!!  I can't tell you just HOW excited I was!  God is so good to provide for our needs! I am ashamed to say that I hadn't even prayed about this, just tried to figure it all out on my own. But God proved yet again that He knows our needs always, and will provide for us always!  Amen!

This little girl seems to grow by leaps and bounds every single night!  Her new favorite phrases are:

"That's mine!" and "I don't want to."  Hmmm... we are working on that!

A silly girl and a tired mommy.

Dancing with Daddy.  Awww.....

Until next time....

Update!

Hello!  Its Tuesday night, and we have had a good day.  We got up and were out of the house shortly after 8, dropped the kids off at their grandparents, and Matt and I drove the 45 mins to the hospital in another town for my dr. appt with the OB.  I wasn't really nervous - just anxious to find out what was up.  I am one of those people who wants to be told all the facts, to be told like it is - no beating around the bush.  I just what to know what I am facing.  So I was anxious to see the doc and see my baby on the ultrasound again. 

After registering, we headed up to the 3rd floor to see the dr.  After waiting a little while in the waiting room, we went in and got all set up for the ultrasound.  We went over my past medical history (a task I always hate since mine is a bit extensive!) and my past pregnancies.  The docs and nurses are always surprised when we tell them that I am 3 for 3 for going into labor naturally ON my due date.  I guess that is quite rare.  I always tell them that I have always been a little different than average!  Ha! 

Anyways, she started the ultrasound and we got to "see" our baby.  The dr. did all kinds of measurements at first.  And praise the Lord, everything is measuring pretty much to the day of how far along I am (which is 25 weeks, by the way!).  She had a resident nurse in with her, so she spent a lot of time explaining and pointing out stuff, which was fun for us.  Its always so neat to see the heart beating, the baby moving all around.  And this dr. said, just as all the others have said, that we have an active one.  I already knew that.  I have said it several times that this baby kicks and flips way more than I ever remember the other three doing.  But I love it.  And knowing this is my last pregnancy, I am trying to soak in every minute of it.

So, after the measuring, she asked if we wanted to know the gender.  We did, and we now have no doubt that we are having a..............hmmm.  I think I will keep you in suspense a little longer.  Hehe!

Next she went to check out the placenta and the blood vessels which was the whole reason for this visit.  They were concerned that I had placenta previa, which is where the placenta is covering either part, or all of the cervix, making a normal delivery impossible.  But what they were more concerned with a condition called vesa previa, which is a very dangerous condition, even life threatening to the baby, and even mother.

After just a few minutes of checking, she finished up and told us two wonderful words, "You're good!"  What a relief!  I asked her, "So, the placenta is not in the way?"  "No, its several cm away - not a problem."  Then I asked, "So, what about the blood vessels?"  "There are no vessels in the way."  Everything is just as it should be and she sees no reason why I won't be able to have a normal delivery, just as before (barring anything happening later on, of course).

I can't tell you how relieved we felt!  What an answer to prayer!  I don't even need to be on bed rest or any restrictions!  Praise the Lord!  Music to our ears!  So now we are just going about the rest of this pregnancy as we normally would.

*Note - I made a mistake in my last post - which I FULLY blame on my pregnancy brain (I use that excuse a lot these days!).  I said my baby was due in December, but my due date, is, in fact, January 24.  Sorry for the confusion! ;-)

I am 6 months preggo, and starting to feel it for sure!  I am getting to the point where sleep is less and less due to discomfort and making many trips to the potty (haha - can you tell I am a mommy to toddlers - "potty!").  My back is hurting me quite a bit, but that is common from now until the end when I am pregnant.  The baby looks perfect - weighing around 1 lb. 9oz.

I can say that I think I have sort of been "holding my breath" so-to-speak up until now.  I was a little afraid to get too excited about having this baby because of what could be wrong.  But after today, its like I let out my breath and now I am REALLY excited to meet my 4th little baby.  We both are so excited that after leaving the dr, we went to a store and bought the first two new sleepers for Baby.  Of course, we have clothes that I have stored away, but we still always like to get a few new outfits for the baby that are just for them - especially their "going home from the hospital" outfit. 

I still keep telling myself that I have 4 children - 4!  If you would have told me 7 years ago, on October 30 when Matt proposed to me, that in 7 years I would be 3 months away from having my 4th child, I would have never believed you.  But we feel so blessed and thank the Lord every day for His goodness to us.

So that is the update on me and Baby!  And, lest a riot break out, I suppose I will now reveal the gender.  We are adding to our family of 1 boy and 2 girls a...................................................................................

GIRL!

Yup!  Another baby girl!  Matt's already dreading the thought of them dating and having to give away 3 girls to 3 dudes who will one day think they love our daughters like we do! :-)  But really, we are thrilled, as are the kids.  We can't wait to meet our baby girl come the end of January.

Oh, and as far as the name goes - nope.  Not gonna tell.  For two reasons: 1 - we never reveal the name until they are born, and 2 - we still aren't sure! :-)  Suggestions are being taken and we are selling the right to name her at a low price of $1.7million.  Haha!

Thank you to all of you who have prayed.  Please continue to pray for us as I do get tried pretty easy (I have 3 kids - ages 5,3,and 1 for crying out loud!) and some days just have no energy.  But it is all worth it!

The rest of our week looks to be pretty busy as we are starting revival meetings tomorrow night through Sunday.  Our speaker is actually a friend from college, Evangelist Ben Schettler.  He and his wife, Mackenzie, are coming and we are excited to not only see them again, but have some great revival meetings!

Until next time...

Ain't God Good?

I sit down to type this while listening to the winter winds howling around our house, causing the very upscale blue tarp in covering the opening to our garage snap back and forth, back and forth, making me keep thinking that there is someone in our garage.  Matt is out on visitation, the kids are in bed, and I don't like noises outside when I am home alone.  I don't like it one bit.  But on that end, I have some wonderful news.  In case you don't have any idea what I am talking about, you can read my post here about what happened to our garage door.  So anyway, on Sunday morning after church (I had stayed home with the kids who were still not feeling well), a lady in our church stopped by to check on us.  She stayed for a while, and as she was leaving she started asking me about the size of the door, if the doors were insulated or not, etc.  I answered as best I could, although to be honest, I don't think I have ever thought that much about a garage door before.  As she was walking out the door, she told me to have Matt call her with the exact size of the door.  So we did on Tuesday, and within an hour, she had called back, letting us know that she had ordered not only one but TWO doors (the other door is broken as well - it just stays down all the time!) and they would be delivered to our house on Monday!  AND that we were not going to pay a cent for either one!  We are so shocked and thankful at how God has provided this for us!  We were not sure how we were going to afford to get even one door!  And, as for myself, I hadn't even asked God to provide for it yet, but He did anyway!  Now to that I say a loud, "Ain't God good?!"  So, Lord willing, we will have two new doors on our garage.  What a huge, unexpected blessing!

I also wanted to update you on what is going on with my health.  Again, if you don't know much about this, you can click here to read about when I explained all that was going on.  Well, after months of seeing different drs. and having all sorts of tests, I finally got in to see a neurosurgeon, which is what I wanted from the very beginning.  They are more specialised in a case like mine.  So, I finally got to see a neurosurgeon this past Monday.  We spent a while with him talking about my symptoms and him doing different neurological and balancing tests.  Then he went over my MRI with me.  And I have some wonderful news.  First of all, the tumor that they were not totally able to remove when I was 15 - is not even detectable on the MRI!  He did not see it at all.  All he saw was fluid, which is a typical occurrence along with scar tissue, when there is a removal of a tumor and an operation.  It is most likely the fluid that is placing pressure on some nerves that is causing my strange symptoms.  So, basically, from a neurological point of view, there is nothing wrong right now.  What a huge praise.

So, there are several lumps called neruofibromas that I have (which are a result of a condition I have had my whole life), with one specifically causing concern.  This one is in my chest, sort of in the space between my two lungs.  It has doubled in size in the past 6 years.  In and of itself, the mass is not a concern.  The fact that it is growing is the problem because if it continues to do so, it can lead to more shortness of breath and other things (I am already experiencing some of this).  So, I am now being sent to a thoracic surgeon to see what they think needs to be done.  So that is where we are with that!  I thank all those who are praying for me, and ask that you would continue to pray for me.  My symptoms are not as bad as they were, and even actually stopped there for about a month.  Yay!

But I really wanted to share something that still causes me to be even more thankful for how God has taken care of me.  All throughout this whole ordeal, I have been told the same thing from almost every dr. I have seen.  And the neurosurgeon was no different.  After each dr. has seen my x-rays, MRIs, and CT scans, they all say that, medically speaking, I am a walking miracle.  If they were to have seen the "insides" of me, without knowing me or how I am today, they would say that there is no way that I would be someone who is relatively healthy, able to walk, and the mother of three healthy children from three normal, healthy pregnancies.  They tell me that it should not be possible.  The dr. on Monday actually looked me right in the eye and said, "Looking at this MRI, you should not be as healthy as you are.  It doesn't make sense.  You are a miracle." 

And that is so true - with all praise and glory going to my God.  He is the only reason that I am able to walk around, that I am healthy, that I have had three nearly "perfect" pregnancies with three "easy" labors, resulting in three BEAUTIFUL children.  It is only because of God.  And believe me, I do NOT take it for granted - ever.  It is still neat for me to hear from drs. lips how they cannot explain from science or medicine how I am doing so well today. I certainly know the answer that they don't know!  Again, I have to shout, "Ain't God good!?!  So good!"

Just some blessings I wanted to share with you all.  Hope they encourage you to "keep on keeping on" as my father-in-law says, no matter what.  Yes, hard things will happen to us.  God told us that we will have trials in this world.  Life is not easy.  But how much more wonderful and manageable it is with Almighty God on your side.  He is bigger than any fincancial, family, health, realationship issue, etc. that will ever come your way.

"Ain't God good, to give us so many blessings.  Undeserving, that's what we are.  We ought to thank Him, love and praise Him!  A little more today, and a whole lot more tomorrow!"

Until next time...