To Marriage and Beyond

(This a continuation of ongoing posts  I have telling all about Our Story. I believe I last talked about our engagement and wedding day.)

We had a beautiful wedding, at least in my opinion.  Pretty much everything went just as we planned and before we knew it we were running to a limo through the line of our guests throwing rose petals at us and off we went on our honeymoon.  We spent the next two weeks traveling from Oklahoma where we were married up to New Brunswick.  We spent the first week in Gatlinburg, TN.  We had our van so we were able to just leisurely take our time heading up to Canada.  Once we arrived in New Brunswick, we began preparing to head up North to Nemeska, Quebec, to run the Bible camp that Matt had run the past few years.

The month of July was spent way up North at the small camp ministering to many Cree children and their families.  It was wonderful!  I can remember feeling like I was in a dream.  I was married to a wonderful man, and now we were serving the Lord together.  Exactly what I had been praying for all those years!  I loved watching my husband teach with such passion, just as he continues to teaches with today.  Each day I fell more in love with him.  We had some special times up there.  I especially remember the final night we were there.  The kids were all tucked away in their cabins, and we were getting ready to head to our place for the night. We stopped outside before getting into the car and just stood there, starting up at the magnificent sky.  The camp had no electricity or running water.  It was rustic.  But because of that, the night sky was so clear.  And were were far enough north that we were able to clearly see the Northern Lights.  I had never seen them before and let me tell you - they left me breathles.  Absolutely incredible!  Just another reminder of what an awesome  God we serve - who created such beauty!

Once the four weeks of camp were over, we had to pack up, head back to New Brunswick where we packed up all our belongings there and headed out on the road again.  We had only a few short weeks before we needed to be back in Florida for Matt to start grad school and I was to start working on staff at the Bible college.  But, on our "way" (and by that I mean not on the way at all) we went to Ohio to help my brother and his wife move into their home.  They were beginning a job at a Christian school.  Then we drove down to Oklahoma to visit my parents and pick up the rest of our stuff.  After that, we finally arrived at our final destination, Pensacola, Florida.  To say we put a lot of miles on the first three months of our marriage is an understatement.

But it was great.  It gave us lots of time to just talk and enjoy each other.  But, "real" life had to start sometime so we got to Florida, got settled in and started our life as a newly married couple.  Matt was in grad school as well as working for the school to pay for his schooling.  I was staff and worked in the Dean's office at the college.  I have always loved secretarial type work, which is what I was doing.  There were times when I wasn't so fond of my job, but overall, it was great.  I would work, 8 to 5, then come home to our small apartment and cook, clean, and enjoy my hubby.  I have to admit, at first it seemed a bit surreal and I often felt like I was just a little girl playing "house."  But no, it was real, I was "all grown up" and we were so happy!

When we weren't working we were hanging out with friends and just enjoying life.  Matt worked on Tuesday nights, so my sister and my friend, Jana, would almost always come over to keep me company.  We would play games or go into town.  Or Matt and I would hang out our friends, Brad and Miranda, or Matt and Sheila.  When it was the end of the month and money was tight, Brad, Mirand, and Matt and I would pool our resources and come up with meals so we could all eat!  Great memories.  It was some good times.  Everything was going the way I "planned" it.  I had always wanted to get married, be just us two for two years, then we would start a family.  And then every two years we would add to the family until we had 5 or 6 kids.

Well, as you know "things" don't always go as you plan.  We had been married for not quite 6 months when I had a "feeling" that I was pregnant.  I told Matt, we went to get a test (at about midnight, mind you.  There were so many people we might see since the college had over 4,000 students and lots of staff and faculty that I wanted to keep it a secret in case I was wrong! Ha!)  I couldn't wait until morning like you are "supposed" to do.  Took the test, it was positive.  We were shocked and ecstatic at the same time!  We called our parents and everyone joined in on our joy.

It is kinda interesting to note that while I was pregnant, so were my three sis-in-laws!  It also happened that we were all pregnant at the same time again the next time around, too!  Ah.... families! :-)

The pregnancy went well, and I gave birth on my exact due date and we welcomed sweet Liam into our family.  I took three months maternity leave - the most I could.  In the states, you do not get paid mat leave and it is not for a year like here in Canada!  Those three months with just Matt working on a  small income were tough.  Actually, I look back and still have no idea how we survived on just over $500 a month.  Except that God provided.  Always does.  Always will.

Once I had to start back to work Liam went to daycare.  But, it was the daycare associated with the college and I knew a lot of the workers. I could see the building from my office window and could go over during the day to nurse him and eat my lunch there - which I did most every day.  So it was pretty ideal since I had to work. (Most all Matt's paycheck went to pay off his schooling, so we had no choice but for me to work.)  It wasn't my favorite thing, but again, we made it through!

We now were not only adjusting to married life, but we were also adjusting to being parents!  No, it wasn't how I had planned it, but I wouldn't go back and change any of it for anything!  Those times really set the stage for our life together and taught us many things about who God is.

It was now the beginning of 2007.  We had been married for a year and a half, Matt was almost done with grad school, and the future lay before us.  What were we going to do?  Where were we going to go?  We had our plans.  Grand and glorious plans.  But we would soon find that God had a different plan for us.

Until next time....

Progression of a Family

In honor of our 7th anniversary tomorrow, I thought I would show our "progress" over the years through pictures!  Enjoy!

It all started with an "official"  date. February 2004.

And then we got engaged. October 2004

We got married! June 2005

Honeymoon! June 2005

Then we had our buddy - Liam. September 2006

Sweet Leila-girl joined us in June 2008.

Then enters Libby-cakes.  January 2010

And finally, we added our baby, little Lexi-bug.  January 2012

 Its been 7 wonderful years full of more blessings than we can count. 

(And some hardships, too.)  

God is truly so, so good. 

 Here's to the next 7!

Until next time.....
(Tune in tomorrow as I continue telling more of "Our Story")

Lexi Grace Sealy - Birth Story, Part 2

So, On January 21, after waiting in the hospital for about 7 hours to figure out what was the best course of action for us, I was loaded up into an ambulance and started my two hour trek to another hospital.  After Matt kissed me goodbye he ran to the car and went to meet his dad on the side of the highway.  Since we were going to be gone for several days, Matt needed some clothes for himself (again, I was so glad I had Matt grab mine and the baby's bags before we left earlier that morning!) so his dad was bringing him a bag as well as a couple other items I needed.  "Conveniently" enough, though, we completely forgot about our camera!  Thank goodness for Matt's iPhone with the camera on that!

Right as we were leaving the hospital, it started snowing, although not too heavily.  It was also about 5:15 p.m. so it was almost dark.  I also need to note here that, other than my toast for breakfast and few peanut butter crackers for lunch, I had had nothing to eat all day.  I was starving!  But I was also having some of the worst heartburn.  Earlier in the day the nurse had given me something to help.  Boy, that stuff was disgusting!  It tasted like crushed up chalk mixed with water!  It even had chunks in it!  So gross, and it didn't even help at all!  So here I am, separated from my hubby, having some contractions, going on my first ambulance ride of my life, hungry, and experiencing harsh heartburn.  And very uncomfortable laying on that stretcher!

The highway was nice and smooth for the first half of the trip, but then it got quite bumpy.  You see, it is winter.  In the country.  So the roads are not keep quite up to normal standards.  So that began to add to my discomfort.  The nurse and EMT were just sitting there, chatting about anything and everything.  I joined the conversation as much as I felt like, but most of the time I was looking out the back window trying to see if I could see Matt in our van (which was a stupid idea since it was dark and all I could see was headlights!!!)

I have also forgotten to mention that I had a terrible cough - had had it for the past couple weeks.  It was an awful cough that was killing my back and stomach muscles.  So I kept getting into coughing fits.  And each time I would cough, the EMT would give me some water to drink.  And that made the heartburn worse!

The road was getting bumpier and I began to feel the contractions a bit more.  Then, the OB nurse looks at me and says, "They are getting stronger, aren't they?  I can see your stomach getting tighter each time."  That's when I realized that they were stronger and even more consistent.  Hmmm... Maybe driving on the bumpy roads was a good idea!

Well, we were just about 20 mins from the hospital when the OB nurse decided she needed to check my blood pressure and the baby's heart rate one more time.  The road was so bumpy (especially in the back of an ambulance which, really, rides like a truck!) that she couldn't get it on the doppler so the driver had to pull over so the vehicle would be still.  It still took her another couple minutes to find the heart beat, which made me nervous for a second.  But, she got it finally and it was nice and strong.  I guess Lexi was just laying way down to where it was really hard pick up her heart beat on the doppler!

We took off again, and before I knew it, we were at the hospital (which is rather large, I might add!), and I was being wheeled up to 3 North to Labor and Delivery.  The OB nurse, ambulance driver and EMT passed on my chart and info to the nurses there and they said good bye and wished me good luck.  The OB nurse told me to be SURE to call our hospital to let the nurses know how everything went, as they were all going to be wondering.  What nice nurses.

So now it is 7:30 p.m. and I am getting in my lovely hospital gown and hooked up to the monitors.  Matt arrived just a few minutes later.  It was right at shift change so I didn't see any nurses or the dr. on call (remember, it is Saturday night) for a good 20 mins.  During that time my contractions stayed as they had been for the past hour or so.  Matt and I were waiting, impatiently I might add, for the dr. to come and let us know what he was going to do.

Around 8, in came my nurse, a med student, and a resident dr.  They introduced themselves and the resident asked me if I minded if both he and the student checked to see my progression.  Well, I'm not one who minds if I am "practise" for someone, so I said sure.  The student went first and she said she thought I was almost 2 cm. dilated and hardly effaced at all.  I told her that they had been saying that I was more than 60% (I was NOT about to have someone tell me I had farther to go then I thought! Ha!).  Well, the resident dr. then checked and he confirmed what I thought, and we all then got a little lesson on how to tell how "thinned out" a woman is.  Very educational. ;-)

The resident then explained that they were going to prep me to be induced that night, just wanted to have the dr. come and look things over first, then they would start the pitocin drip.  Then Matt and I were left alone again for a while.  We called my mom and his parents to let them know what was going on and then just waited. Then around 8:30 or so, the dr. came in, I gave him a rundown of how my past labors had gone.  It was then when I told him that my water has never broken on its own, and that every single time after they have broken my water, I was pushing within an hour.  I was trying to convince him to just do that, and I was sure I would go on my own without the pitocin.  I don't think anyone believed me (well, Matt did, of course! Ha!).  So I really think they stalled some so they could get the pitocin ready.  Sometime during all this the nurse hooked me up to an IV.  For this pregnancy I tested positive for Group B strep, so I needed antibiotics during labor and delivery.

We had mentioned to the nurse that our Libby's 2nd birthday was Sunday, so she started "pulling" for us to try and get things going to see if something happened before Midnight, so the girls would have different birthdays!  I agreed totally! :-)

So now we move on a few hours.  The dr., resident, and student came back in, checked me again.  I was now at 4 cm.  Again, Matt and I told them they needed to just break my water.  So, finally, the dr. said, "Well, lets give it a try and see what happens."  I remember looking at Matt.  We both gave each other that look that says, "Praise the Lord - this is going to be over very soon!"

The resident didn't totally break my water, he just tore it a bit, but that's all I needed.  It was now about 11:30 p.m.  They all left except the nurse who now had to be with me until I delivered.  She asked us again about my past deliveries, then said, "Well, it sounds like you go fast so I'm just going to go ahead and get everything prepped for delivery."  Good idea. 

Within 5 minutes I was already experiencing stronger, harder, tighter, and much faster contractions.  Within 15 minutes I was needing Matt's hand to squeeze during them, and had to concentrate on breathing and focusing.  after about 20 mins. the nurse checked the monitor and said, "Wow!  They are right on top of  each other now, aren't they?" All I could do was nod.  She asked me if I needed any pain meds, which I said not yet.  About 30 mins later there was the huge "gush" and my water completely broke.  Its then that the contractions are usually too much for me and I ask for the laughing gas (I used that with Leila and Libby and it helped me to relax a little, even though it didn't take the pain away).  So I remember thinking that any time now I was going to need the gas.  But I just kept squeezing Matt's hand and closing my eyes and breathing.

So now it was about 12:30 a.m.  The nurse had the warmer on for the baby, all the deliver "stuff" was set up.  The nurse then said, "Okay.  We are ready to go.  Make sure you tell me when you feel like you need to push."  Well, I was already starting to feel that so I told her, "I am starting to feel that urge now."  She looked at me, with her mouth wide open (literally!) and said, "Really?"  I said yes, so she went to tell the dr.  right away.  The dr, student, and resident came in.  I don't know that they believed me still, but they checked and I was already more than 9 cm., and fully dilated.  So we just had to wait a short bit to get fully to 10 and I was gonna have that baby!

They all were quite surprised and showed it on their faces.  But by about 12:35 a.m. I was ready to go.  I started pushing and I was determined to get that baby out FAST!  Well, I pushed several times, a total of 5 minutes when all of a sudden they all yelled, "Stop pushing!"  Matt was on my right holding my hand, (well, and not to be too graphic, my leg too! ;-) )and the nurse was on the other side holding my other leg.  She leaned down and said, "Its okay.  The cord is just wrapped around the baby's neck so they are getting it off.  Just don't push."  Well, let's say that was a slightly uncomfortable situation, but I was not pushing like they said.  But I must have moved some or something  because suddenly the nurse pulled back really hard on my leg.  I felt an immediate burn and intense pain in my thigh on that leg.  I remember saying, "OW!" and grabbing my leg.  The nurse just said, "I know, every thing's stretching right now."  Ha!  I wanted to say, "I know because YOU are stretching it!"  But then they had the cord unwrapped (it was wrapped once around her neck and also around her arm) and then I gave one last push and then we heard the most beautiful sound - the first cry of our baby girl!

I laid back on the bed and remember just saying, "Thank you, Lord.  Thank you!"  Matt leaned over and kissed me, said, "She's here!  You did great!" I then shooed him over to go look at her and to take pics and see how much she weighed.  The dr. and student (who, by the way, was the one who "got" to unravel the cord, which you could tell by her face was a thrill for her.) were still by the bed telling me I didn't need any stitches and complimenting me on how well I did.  The student (she was probably about 22 years old, if that!) told me I made that look easy.  I just looked at her, smiled, and said, "Well, it wasn't!"  Haha!  She was a sweet girl and made me laugh.  She seemed very excited to be a part of all this which is great!

Then Lexi Grace was brought over to me and we were able to do skin to skin and she nursed for the next hour.  I love that time - when they are first born, nursing for the first time, and you are reveling in the miracle that just happened!

It wasn't until this time that I realized I did it with no pain management of any kind.  I don't say that to brag on myself.  I say that to give glory to God who is able to give you the strength to get through anything!  That's certainly is what he did for me!  Maybe I have blocked it out of my memory, or maybe I somehow have raised my pain tolerance level, but I don't remember it hurting as much as in my other labors.  Weird.

The nurse made the comment to me that she was sorry we "didn't make it before midnight."  Then she said, "If only they would have broken your water sooner, your daughters would have different birthdays!"  I could only smile.  Sometimes the patient may know better then the dr., it seems! :-)  In reality, I don't min that Libby and Lexi have the same birthday.  I actually think its kinda funny.  Whoda thought, huh?  Shortly after that I was able to take a shower (one of the BEST feelings in the world, in my opinion!) and was then moved to my room where we settled in and were able to get some sleep.

I thank the Lord for the strength He gave me through all this.  It was a long 9 months, but we got through it and in the end, God answered my prayer of a safe, FAST delivery.  In all, I was really only in "real" labor for almost 2 hours.  I didn't have to be induced.  And we had a very healthy baby girl.  Although it wasn't in the place that I wanted, on the day that I wanted, with the people that I wanted, it was exactly how God wanted it to be.  Which makes it perfect.  I am just so thankful.

My recovery has been very easy, really.  I have not experienced any soreness at all (which I find very strange - after each of the others my soreness seemed to get worse, so I was expecting it to be terrible!  Yet I have absolutely none!  Praise God!  I think He knew I had had enough discomfort for now! ;-) )  I felt great.  Except for one thing.  My left hip/leg were hurting quite a bit.  Can you guess why?  Yup.  The nurse!  I don't know what she did, but its like she over-extended my leg and really stretched the ligaments.  And to be honest, I am still struggling with it.  I have gone to my chiropractor several times and it is getting better each time, but it is still sore some and I still limp a little.

The next day the neurosurgeon came to check on me with my weakness in the leg situation, and all was much better since Lexi was born, so we attributed it to the pressure of the baby.  Later that day Matt's parents and my mom came to bring the kids to see us (it was a 2 hour drive one way, but I really wanted to see my Libby on her 2nd birthday!).  Then, Monday we were able to go home.

Lexi was born January 22, 12:45 a.m., weighing 7 lbs. 11oz and 19 1/4 inches long.  We are so happy to welcome her into our family.  And SO glad she finally decided to come - on her own! :-)

Until next time...

Lexi Grace Sealy - Birth Story - Part 1

Well, its no secret - Matt and I were not necessarily planning on having another child.  But I am so thankful that God's ways are not our ways and the last day in May we found out I was expeceting baby #4.  We both were not sure what to say at first.  My immediate thoughts went to my health and if I would be able to handle this.  My pregnancy with Libby definitely took a toll on my body and we were currently in the process of visiting various doctors and making plans for surgery to remove some lumps I have in my arm.  So I, among many others - including my doctors - were concerned for my health.  But we know that God has a perfect plan and this was not a mistake.

Let's just say that it was a LONG 9 months, especially the last month.  The last three weeks I was having pretty consistent contractions off and on each and every day.  Sometimes they would keep me up and were a bit painful, but mostly just uncomfortable.  Once I passed the 37 week mark, I was more than ready to have baby girl out of me.  But, I did not want to be induced, and they don't induce just because a mom is uncomfortable, anyway. 

Because I was having such a hard time, and with my consistent contractions, my mom made the decision to fly out earlier than we had been planning in order to help me with the house and kids as well as to be here when Lexi was born for sure.  So Mom came and I was able to just focus on resting and gearing up for the birth.  At each dr. appt. I had them not only check if I was dilating, but also to strip my membranes.  That always seemed to work in the past.  Each day I would wake up, hoping that "today would be the day."  But the days came and went, and nothing happened.

As my due date approached, I literally thought I was going to be pregnant forever.  Literally.  There were times that I would be on the verge of tears because I was so uncomfortable and in pain.  I wasn't sleeping and was starting to have some interesting symptoms that scared me a bit.  I was experiencing extreme weakness in my legs, to the point that I could barely walk at times.  I was really unsteady on my feet and often felt like I was just going to fall over.  Also, I was having increasing numbness in my legs, particularly my left leg.  This is always scary to me as that can also be a sign that my spinal tumor could be growing again.  I tried not to talk about it much or tell my mom or hubby that I was worried, or just how weak I really felt (although they both aren't stupid and were probably pretty clued in to it all).  So I would just pray and pray that God would allow this baby to come so I would not only have our precious girl in our arms, but also we would then be able to determine if the weakness and numbness was because of the pressure of the baby being so low (she was very, very low), or if it was something to do with my back.

Well, a few days before my due date, I was up at night timing contractions as they were closer together than before and much more strong and tight.  We were about to get up and head to the hospital in the night when they stopped altogether.  I was pretty disappointed, but fell asleep due to exhaustion and slept the rest of the night.  But by morning they started up agian so we decided to just go to the hospital to be checked and be sure nothing was happening.  It was Saturday morning, January 14. We got to the hospital and found that the dr. on call was the one whom I for sure did NOT want to deliver my baby (long story, but he just isn't one of my favorite doctors).  But we were there, so I figured - oh well!  They hooked me up to the monitor and we just sat there for half an hour to see if I was contracting and how the baby was doing. 

Baby was just fine and I was contracting pretty consistently.  But when they checked me, I was still the same as I had been the last two weeks (almost 2 cms dilated and about 60% effaced).  So, the dr. had me walk around for an hour to see if that helped.  I was worn out and walking was really hard, but I was trying to push myself because I so wanted to have her out!  But after more than an hour, they checked again.  Nothing.  So I was sent home to rest.  Dissapointed again.  I wanted to cry.  "Lord, I don't think I can go much longer!" was what was constantly in my prayer.  But God promises us that when we are at our weakest, He is at his strongest.  And He was definitely giving me the strength to get through the days, even though I sometimes didn't "feel" like He was.

The next few days were much of the same stuff.  On Wednesday, January 18, I went in for a non-stress test as it was my due date.  Again, the same dr. from Saturday was on.  Stink.  But he was actually pretty nice that day (or at least I got along with him better, I suppose!).  After 20 mins. on the monitor for the non-stress test, he checked me and..... no change. So he sent me home to rest.  Again.  This was getting old.  Since I was now past my due date, they wanted me in every three days.  So I was scheduled to come back on Saturday, January 21. 

The next days were, again, the same discomfort and impatience.  I will admit that there were times when I was probably pretty unplesant to live with.  I would just outright tell my husband and mom, "I'm in a bad mood today."  But they were so understanding and put up with me!

So Saturday came and I was feeling more contractions than normal - and they were much tighter than normal.  We got up, I had a very light breakfast and Matt and I headed out to door to get to my 10 a.m. appt.  As we were walking out the door, I had Matt grab the bags "just in case."  I'm so glad I did that!  We said our quick goodbyes to the kids and headed to the hospital for my non-stress test.  On the way there, Matt told me he wanted me to be firm and totally honest with how terrible I felt.  He hated seeing me this uncomfortable and wanted me to feel better and wanted to push for the dr. to do something to help labor progress - or start - soon.  I agreed.

We got there and I got set up on the monitor.  I was excited because the dr. that was on call that day is one that I LOVE and the one who delivered Leila.  He is a wonderful dr. and loves what he does, and is quite compassionate to how the patient is feeling.  So I definitely started praying hard that I would deliver before shift change the next morning! 

It was about 10:30 a.m. Baby was moving all around - so much so that it was really hard to keep the belts on to hear the heartbeat.  My contractions were still there - consistent as before.  The resident that was there checked me and there was no change.  But I just explained to the dr. how hard of a time I was having, how I was some concerned about my legs, and I was just so uncomfortable.  Once he found out about the other health issues I have, he immediately started checking things out and agreed that we needed to focus on my well being. 

So, to summarize the day, he and the resident spent lots of time going over my charts, looking back at my MRI from the previous year, and on the phone getting consults from several other drs.  During all this time, Matt and I were just sitting in the labor and delivery room, wondering if today was going to be the day.  We had a wonderful nurse looking after me and we spent a lot of time talking and chatting about all kinds of things.  This particular nurse spends her free time knitting hats for all the newborns.  I love that about our hospital - each baby gets a unique, handmade hat instead of those silly mass-produced ones that is standard in most hospitals!  She asked us if there was any specific color of hat we wanted, to which we told her we would love a red hat.  Leila had a pink one, Libby a purple one.  Each girls hat matched their going home outfit, so I wanted Lexi to have red as "her color."

Anyways, we really enjoyed this nurse (we had her before when I was in with Libby - just not during labor).  I think it was around 3:30 p.m. when the dr. came in to discuss what all he thought was the best thing for me at this point (we had been talking some about this all throughout the day).  He said that, since I was past my due date, and the baby was just fine, there was not benefit in her staying in there any longer.  He was more concerned with me and my health.  He felt that, due to my back issues, it would be best for me to deliver in a larger hospital where there were more specialists on call, particularly a neurosurgeon (due to my spinal tumor).  Also, being in a bigger hospital, there would be an anesthigiologist right there in the unlikely event that I would need to have an emergency c-section.  Matt and I agreed, although it was not my first choice by any means.  I wanted to deliver at MY hospital, near MY dr., near MY kids.  I love the relaxed feeling our small hospital has.  And I didn't want to go far away from my kids.  After all, the next day was Libby's 2nd birthday and I wanted to be near her to celebrate with her. 

While waiting for all the details to be worked out, I just sat there in the hospital bed, fighting back tears.  This was not how I wanted my last delivery to go.  I was not in active labor, so most likely I was going to have to be induced when I got to the other hospital.  I wanted a fast labor.  I did NOT want to be induced.  It seemed all the things I had been praying not to happen were coming true.  Didn't God care what I wanted?

But I tried to put on a brave face and just be thankful that this would soon be over. I now needed to focus on being ready and rested for the delivery. Now, due to the fact that I was overdue, contracting quite regularly, and tend to have fast labors, I was going to be sent by ambulance with on OB nurse to the Saint John hospital, 2 hours from our town. Matt would follow in the van. Then, when we got there the OB on call would decide whether to induce that night or in the morning. So we got all set, the ambulance driver and other EMT came and I was put on the stretcher. The OB nurse got all her gear ready(should I have to deliver on the side of the road!!!) and I kissed Matt goodbye and off we went! I was really trying not to cry because I wished Matt could go with me in the ambulance. But he couldn't so we left the hospital and headed out.

To be continued.....

Until next time....

Our Story - Engagement Part 2

After I exited the elevator, I went to meet up with Matt and the others.  I noticed nothing that seemed fishy so I pushed what Miranda had said to me out of my mind and focused on what we had planned for the day.  After we were all gathered, we climbed in our cars and headed to my most favourite restaurant in the whole wide world - Chili's.  Matt was and still is so sweet that when he plans an "outing" for me, he does his best to take me to my favorite places.  I am so spoiled.  But anyway, back to the story.

We ate at Chili's and I thoroughly enjoyed my meal (I can't remember exactly what I ate.  But I know I had LOTS of the chips and salsa!).  We all enjoyed our time.  We laughed and talked and I didn't  think anything was up except that we were just having a fun family day away from campus.  I also did not happen to notice how Matt only ate about 1, maybe 1 1/2 bites of his meal.

After lunch, we headed to Bayview park where we planned to play some games like Phase 10 and Uno.  I remember as we pulled in we were commenting on how there was still so much damage and debris lying around from the hurricane.  We got out of the car and all sat down at a picnic table. I grabbed one of the games and was getting ready to start playing when Matt looked at me and said, "You wanna go for a walk?"  To be perfectly honest, I did not want to.  I think I told him that, too!  Well, he seemed pretty determined to go for a walk, and I was a bit determined to not go for one.  Finally, he just made the decision for me.  He looked at Deana, our chaperone, and said, "Do you mind if we take a walk?"  I distinctly remember her saying yes, all the while not looking at either of us, but looking down at the table instead.  Hmmm...  Oh well. 

Matt and I got up and started to "walk."  Now, I don't know about you, but when two people go on a walk together, they usually walk side by side.  Well, not this time.  To me, it seemed as if Matt was running.  And I was a few feet behind him saying, "Matt, where are you going?  Why aren't you walking with me?"  I guess he realized what he was doing and waited for me to catch up.  "Let's go over by that tree."  He said, pointing to a tree a ways ahead of us.  "Uh, okay.  Why are we gonna go to that tree?"  I think I was getting a little suspicious now, but still not catching on.  "Just come."  He said.  We were almost to the tree, and I was starting to think that Matt was acting very strangely all of a sudden.  "Matt what are going to go and do by the tree?"  I asked.  Haha.  I was so confused!

We finally reached the tree and were standing there, me looking at him when he said, "Emily. Look down."  It was then that I noticed.  At the base of the tree was a small blanket laid out.  And on that blanket was a very beautiful,  large single red rose and a wrapped package.  "What is all this?"  "Its for you."  "How did you get it here?"  "Just open the gift."

I reached down and picked up the gift.  Attached to it was a card.  I read the card.  It was a very sweet note.  Near the end, it said, "This is just a small gift to let you know that I will get you what you REALLY want as soon as I possibly can."  How sweet!  He was letting me know that we will get engaged as soon as he can afford a ring!  I smiled really big and opened the gift.  It was a Precious Moments figurine.  He knew that I collected them.  The figurine was a little girl and boy sitting on a couch.  The little boy was holding out a ring to the girl, and the little girl was crying.  It really is such a cute thing.  I smiled and thanked Matt for his sweet gift.

"I also wrote you a poem that I want to say to you."  And with that, he began to quote this poem that he had written.  It was so sweet, talking about how we met and dated and all that fun stuff.  As he was saying this, three things were going through my mind.  First of all, I thought it was so nice that he took the time to write me another poem.  I loved it that he did that.  Second, I was thinking that I was surprised that he had taken the time to actually memorize it!  Wow.  That was special.  And third, I was thinking, "You know, this is sort of what I picture an engagement being like."  But still, to be perfectly honest, I had no idea that was what was actually happening!

So, he was saying this poem and I was standing there thinking these things, when, all of a sudden, he reached in his pocket, pulled out a box, got down on one knee and finished the poem by saying, " I believe that it is God's will that we are together for life.  And that is why I ask you now, Emily Marie Doan, will you be my wife?"  He opened the box and there was the most beautiful, solitaire diamond ring.  It was exactly what I would have picked out myself.  I looked at the ring, looked at Matt, looked at the ring, looked at Matt, all the while saying, "Are you serious?  Are you serious?"  He was smiling saying, "Yes! Yes!"  Then, he finally said, "Emily?  What's your answer?"  "Oh!  YES!"  I said.  I was so shocked, I forgot to answer him!  He then put the ring on my finger. 

I would like to tell you now I jumped up and gave him a big 'ole hug or something, but I didn't.  To this day, he still reminds me that he didn't even get a handshake or anything!  Haha!  But, in my defense, I was so shocked, and I was also unsure of what was allowed since I was a PCC student.  I have since learned that Matt had permission for us to have "some physical contact" from the dean's office.  If I had it to go over again, I would have hugged him, and maybe even given him a little kiss! ;-)  But alas, I didn't and it is what it is. 

After the ring was placed on my finger, I asked him, "Does my dad know?  Does my mom know?  What about Andrew and Danielle and all them?"  Well, apparently everyone knew (even my roommates, who were back at school eagerly awaiting my to return so they could celebrate with me!).  I looked back to where everyone else was and they were all standing there, clapping and smiling!  Then Matt had me turn around, and pointed out our friend, Cory, who had been hiding behind us taking pictures the whole time!  By the way, he is the one who placed the blanket and flower and gift box on the ground by the tree.

I ran back to the others who were waiting, and did what most every newly engaged girl does - I stuck out my hand and showed off my ring!  My hand was shaking SO badly, too!  I just could not believe it had actually happened and that I had been surprised!  That was a big deal, you see because it is pretty hard to surprise me.  I always seem to figure things out.  Just ask my sis, Amanda, about my bridal shower and my "surprise" visit from my mom.  Or ask my friend, Wendy, about my "surprise" birthday party!  Haha!  I had always wanted my engagement to be a surprise, and he actually pulled it off!  He is getting really good at it, too.  Since then, he has surprised me quite a few times since.

It is a funny story, too, to hear Danielle and Amanda recount it from their perspective.  They were "playing" Uno, trying to be all casual in case I looked back at them.  But really, they were trying to watch us and were really excited it was hard for them to act natural.

So, there you have it.  October 30, 2004 when we were engaged.  And 7 1/2 months later, we were married.  In "preparation" for telling this story, I watched the video that my brother made that we showed at our wedding reception where we told the story of how we met, got engaged, and our plans/dreams for the future.  And I have to tell you, it made me laugh.  First of all how young we looked, even though it was only just over 5 years ago!  Also, how naive we seemed!  Ha!

Well, I hoped you enjoyed our story of engagement.  I sure enjoyed relieving it by telling it!

Until next time....

Our Story - Engagement

I am finally getting around to writing our engagement story.  Just so you know, I am breaking it up into two parts.  To read more about what led up to our engagement, you can go to the "Labels" section to the right of the screen and click on "Our Story."

Matt and I "officially" began dating March 10, 2004.  We finished out that semester at college, both as seniors.  But, due to changing my major in my second year, I still had a few classes left, so I was not able to graduate.  Matt did graduate, however.  It was at graduation time that I first met his parents.  I was SO nervous!  He assured me that they would love me, and that his mom would probably give me a hug the second we met, but still.  I was totally "freaked out."  What if they hated me?  His dad is an evangelist, after all!  I was intimidated!  Well, I am sure you can assume by now that I passed the test and they approved of me (at least I think so!).  And yes, the second I met Matt's mom, she gave me a BIG hug! :-)

That summer was pretty much the longest one of my life.  It started off great.  My brother, Andrew, got married in New Hampshire, so Matt drove down the 6 hours for the wedding, and then I went back with him to his house for a week.  But then, I flew home and Matt spent the summer up north at the camp in Nemeska, Quebec.  It is quite remote there, with sketchy cell service, so we didn't get to talk all that often.  When he wasn't at the camp, he was traveling around with his dad.

Meanwhile, my parents were in the middle of moving from Lakewood, Colorado to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.  They had not found a house yet, so my mom and I spent the summer staying at friend's and family's houses, as well as traveling around with my dad and staying in hotels.  I missed Matt so much.  But at the same time, I look back with fond memories of that summer because I was able to spend so much one on one time with my mom.  Seeing as how I got married the next summer, I think the Lord worked it so we could have that special memory together.

Well, summer ended and we headed back to school.  I was entering my second senior year and Matt was going back as a grad student.  School started out great and Matt and I spend as much time together as possible.  There is a policy at that school that guys and girls cannot be "off campus" together without a chaperone until the girl turns 23.  I was only 22, so we either had to get a chaperone to go somewhere with us, or we just hung out on campus.

We had not been back to school for very long when a "natural disaster" in the form of Hurricane Ivan hit the Gulf of Mexico.  The whole school went into lock-down and we all spent what is one of the longest nights of my life in shelters.  Of course, Matt was in a separate shelter than I was.  Hurricane Ivan did a lot of damage, but all that is in and of itself a whole other story, one that I may tell you someday.

So, the hurricane was in September, and after that we resumed school and life as normal.  Usually Matt and I were able to spend a lot of the weekend together, but that changed when he started interning at a church in Mobile, Alabama.  So I usually did not see him at all on Sundays.

Well, it was nearing the end of October, and Matt suggested that we take a Saturday and go do something fun with my family.  At that time, my brother, Andrew, and his wife, Danielle, were on staff, and my sister, Amanda, was a freshman.  It just so happened that Danielle's sister, Deana, was on staff and an approved chaperone, so we made plans to all go out to eat then go to the park and play games.  I was suspicious of nothing and just thought that it was going to be a relaxing day with family away from school.

That morning, I got ready and was riding down the elevator to go meet up with everyone.  Also in the elevator was my good friend, Miranda.  It was a very crowded elevator and I can still remember us, crunched up in one corner.  "What are you doing today?"  she asked.  I told her, then she smiled at me and said, "I bet you are going to get engaged today."  I laughed.  Ha!  "No way.  He doesn't have a ring.  I don't even think he can afford one right now.  So no, it isn't happening today.  Its gonna happen at Christmas."  I told her.  "Ya, right" she replied with a smirk on her face.  She really did not know that it was going to happen, she was just guessing.  I again told her it was in no way going to happen that day because Matt didn't even have a ring and I knew it would happen at Christmas when he came to visit me.  And I exited the elevator to go meet up with Matt and everyone else.

Well, let's just say I would soon be eating my words...

Until next time....

Our Story - In Pictures

The first Fine Arts we went to together.  This was the dress that my mom said we needed to buy when I first told her about Matt.

Our engagement picture.

 Our main wedding photo.

Ready to leave for the honeymoon!













In Gatlinburg, Tennessee on our honeymoon.

Our Story - Part 7

I had never been in a situation like this before.  A guy, whom I was quite interested in, was showing an interest in me!  Wow.  I was pretty excited to say the least.  After that initial supper when I brought all my friends with me, I went back to my room with my roomie, Jessica, who had gone with us.  We talked about Matt and everything, and she seemed pretty excited - almost TOO excited over just a simple meal.  I wasn't sure, but it seemed like something was up.  But what?  I soon would find out.

I had work to do, so I got busy doing that.  Meanwhile, my roommate, Jenn, had arrived back on campus, and she was in our dorm room unpacking, all the while listening to Jessica share what she knew about me and Matt.  A few hours later, when I cam back to the room, Jenn jumped up, grabbed my hand and said, "Why did you go all last semester without telling us about Matt?"  I was a little taken aback, then glanced at Jessica.  "You told her, huh?"  She smiled and shrugged, "Sorry.  I couldn't help it.  We are just so excited."  We then had to go to prayer meeting, so we started to head out the door.  "Emily, I need to tell you something, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.  I am just SO excited!"  Again, I sensed something was definitely up with my roommates, but didn't have the time right then to investigate.  But my interest was definitely perked.

Finally, the next day, when we were all in our room talking when I said, "Okay guys.  Spill it.  What is the big deal?  What is this you all want to tell me."  It was then that they "confessed" how they have been praying for me all last semester, and were so excited to see that the Lord was answering their prayers.  "Well, let's not get too excited.  He only asked me to one meal so far.  Let's not get ahead of ourselves."  But it was from this point on we all began to pray with each other for each other's relationships.

As for Matt and I, over the next few weeks he kept asking me to meals, and I, silly enough, kept bringing my friends with me!  Haha!  I have to laugh about it  now, but I was just so nervous.  But finally, after a few weeks of this, Matt asked me to come to supper with him - only by myself this time.  I laughed, apologized for how silly I had been, and said yes.  And that's how it went from there. 

We would try to together and go to as many things as possible.  We would talk on the phone for hours about all kinds of things - like our goals, standards, dreams for the future, what the Lord was teaching us - things like that.  I found myself liking him more and more.  And praying more and more.  I still wanted to only person I got involved with, the only person I said those 3 important words to, to be my husband.  So I prayed constantly for the Lord to continue to guide and direct us.

We had been doing this for a few weeks when it came time for Valentine's Day and another Fine Arts.  This particular Fine Arts was one where the girls were supposed to ask the boys to the banquet.  But, as I had said before, it would go against one of my "rules" so I refused to ask him to the banquet.  I think he understood my reasons for not asking him, and knew that I was waiting for him to ask me.  Which he used to his advantage and waited until the LAST POSSIBLE SECOND to ask me!  I should have known - he is such a tease!  It was at that Fine Arts that I wore my new dress that we bought over Christmas break. ;-)

We continued casually dating until March 10, 2004, when Matt asked me to make us "official."  I said yes and we went on from there.  We continued to get closer to each other, find out more about each other, spend as much time together as possible, all the way praying for God to show us His will in the matter. 

One night in April, Matt and I were spending time together on evening, just talking away.  I can't remember exactly what all we were talking about, but we were having a good time.  I remember I said something that made him laugh.  I jokingly said something to the effect that he shouldn't laugh at me, and that it didn't matter, because my mom loves me no matter what (I don't exactly know why I said that!).  He then said, "Well, Jesus loves you."  And then he added in a bit quieter tone, "And I do too."  I looked him in the eye and asked him to repeat what he had said.  "I said I love you."  I was speechless!  What?  Really?  It took me a minute to gather my thoughts.  Then I said, "Thank you.  But I don't think that I am ready to say that just yet.  Okay?"  He said that was fine, that he had been thinking it for a while, and really hadn't planned on saying then, but it just "came out."

And so it was for the next month - us dating, him saying "I love you," and me always answering, "Thanks."  Haha!  I am so glad he understood how I wasn't sure just yet, and wasn't ready to say it.  I was praying very hard about it, though.  And then, one day, it hit me while I was with him.  I loved him.  I really did.  He was exactly what I wanted I wanted in a husband - and so much more.  I wanted to make it very special when I told him how I felt.  So I made a plan.

I went to the dollar store and bought a couple 15 piece puzzles with pictures of animals on it.  Over the next couple of days, I sent him these puzzles through PH mail, with messages written on the back side of them..  He had to put together the puzzle in order to see what I had written.  Then, a couple of days before the last day of the semester, I sent him the last puzzle - with one piece missing.  On the rest of the back of the puzzle, I had just written squiggly lines, but no words.  That night, when he got it, he called me tell me that "a piece was missing."  "Hmmm..." I said.  "Are you sure?"  I asked, secretly laughing to myself.  This was going just how I had planned it.  "Yes.  It is not there."  he said.  "Well, I will look around and see if I can find it."

He probably knew something weird was up, but I don't know if he knew just what.  The next day, I met his parents for the first time (a very nerve wracking experience - I was afraid they wouldn't like me!).  Then, that night we went to the last Fine Arts of the semester together.  When he came to pick me up, I handed him a card and told him to open it up.  He did, and there, taped to the inside was the final puzzle piece.  On it I had written, "I Love You!."  When he read that, he got the biggest smile on his face.  Then I told him, "See?  Now our puzzle is complete!"  (maybe a little cheesy, but hey, it was memorable!) 

The next day, Matt graduated and left to go home.  That summer, he came to NH to be at my brother, Andrew's, wedding, and then I went to spend a week with him in Canada.  And then began out long summer apart.  But we survived, and it think it only made us realize even more how much we loved each other, how much we enjoyed being with each other, and how we wanted to be together always.

And that, my friends, is our very "long" story of how we met and got together.  I was probably a little more detailed than needed, but I want to always remember the small details of how God worked in each of our lives to bring us together.  Already, there were some details that we both couldn't quite remember, and it has only been 5 years!  So, I hope you enjoyed hearing (or rather, reading) all about us.  It has been fun for me to write this as it has taken me down memory lane and brought back a lot of happy and funny memories.

Our Story - Part 6

(To catch up, click here )

The next day was a very busy day for us RAs.  After morning chapel and dismissal (which Matt and I sat together at, by the way), we both had to head back to our dorms where we were busy for pretty much the rest of the day until around 5 p.m.  We were helping with checking the floorleaders out for the semester by going around their floors, making sure all was clean. About 2 or three in the afternoon, I took a short break from doing this to go to my room to get a drink.  I had been thinking about Matt and our conversation all day long, and was dying to talk to him.  I kept hoping he would get in touch with me, but we were both so busy, we really didn't have much time for such things.  But, as I was on my break, I impulsively and on the spur of the moment picked up my phone and called the desk where I knew Matt would be. 

"Ballard Desk, this is Matt."  he answered.  My mind then started racing as I tried to think of something to say.  You see, I was breaking one of my "rules" by calling him.  I couldn't think very straight, so I tried to disguise my voice and pretend I was a student who needed help. :-)  I didn't do a very good job and he knew right away who I was.  "I thought you didn't call boys (more on this in a minute)?"  He said.  "Well, I don't.  I just..."  I was at a loss for words.  I was embarrassed. What was I doing?  What in the world possessed me to call him?  I immediately got embarrassed and started rambling about how I was just "seeing how it was going" for him. Dumb, Emily! You sound like an idiot!

He didn't seem too bothered by my calling him, but rather, a little pleased that I did.  We talked for a couple minutes, and then were getting ready to hang up when he asked, "Hey, do you think maybe we could hang out a little later?"  "Sure!" I said, then hung up the phone and went back to work, definitely smiling even bigger than before.

Now, as a side not, I want to explain my "rules" that I had set for myself way back when I was a teenager.  I set these rules, thinking it would keep me in check.  No one told me to make these rules.  I just did it on my own.  They were simple, really - Don't ask boys out and don't call boys unless you are returning their call.  I had told Matt about my rules the night before, so it made me look even more like an idiot (or desperate) when I called him.  Let me tell you, I was kicking myself for that for the next 2 months.  The last thing I wanted was for Matt to think I was being too forward.  I am a firm believer in the man being the leader in the relationship, even in little things in the beginning like that.  I was so mad at myself.

Well, we didn't end up doing anything together later on.  I ended up going off campus with my friends, Amber, Kayla, and Wendy and just relaxing with them.  I believe it was at this time that I told them about my "crush" for Matt that had kinda been going on all semester (although Wendy already knew).  They were excited and we dissected my conversation with Matt, trying to figure it all out.  :-)  Later on that night, we had to go to a meeting with all the students that were still on campus.  My friends and I walked into the Field House getting ready when I saw him.  We made eye contact ("across the crowded room".... hehe) and I smiled at him.  We sat through the meeting, with me catching glimpses of Matt with every chance I could get!

After the meeting and we were all dismissed, we got up and were ready to walk out when I noticed Matt hanging around the door, as if he were waiting for someone.  When we approached, he looked at me and said "Hi."  It was then that I realized he was waiting for me!  We didn't have much time, but we chatted for a few minutes, then were being shooed out the door by the staff.  I looked at him, and said, "Have a good Christmas."  "You too!" he replied.  And that was it. I didn't see him again for 5 weeks.  The longest 5 weeks of my life!

When we got back to our room, I remember Kayla saying, "He was looking at you the whole time, Emily!"  I think I probably was blushing about that and we chatted and giggled the rest of the night.  The next day I flew home to Colorado to enjoy my Christmas break.

And it was the longest 5 weeks I have ever had.  I spent the whole time wondering what he was doing, if he was thinking about me, etc.  I had been home about a week when my parents and I went to visit my brother, Kip, and his wife in Missouri for a few days.  My mom and I were in one car, while my dad was in another car and we were driving to their house.  It was late at night and I was just talking with my mom about stuff.  I really wanted to tell my mom about Matt, but I was nervous for some reason.  I think it was because I had never really come home talking about a boy before.  And I didn't really have that much to tell.  Its not like we had left with any type of understanding or anything.  But still, I wanted to tell my mom.

I remember it so clearly.  We were at a red stop light, when I randomly said, "So mom, there's this boy at school that I sorta like...."  I still can see my mom's face.  It lit up like a Christmas tree, she looked over at me and said, "We are gonna have to get you a new dress (referring to a new formal dress.  I hadn't had a new one since I left for college 3 1/2 years earlier.)"  I still laugh about that.  But that was her reaction, and so we spent the next little while talking about him.

Over the next weeks, my mom told different people about how I liked a boy at school, etc. (My family was so excited because this was all new - I had never come home talking about a boy before!)  I did my own share of telling.  My poor sister probably got tired of me talking about Matt.  But I couldn't help it.  That's all I wanted to talk about.  Meanwhile, unknown to me at the time, Matt was home in Canada, telling his mom about a girl named Emily!

Well, FINALLY the 5 weeks were up and I was headed back to school.  I couldn't wait to get there!  I wanted to see him so badly, to see how he acted around me and if all that happened at the end of last  semester was still real and I hadn't made it all up.  So, my plane landed, my brother picked me up from the airport and took me back to school.  I dumped all my stuff off in my room and headed to the Commons.  I didn't want to be cooped up in my room if he was back.  I wanted to see him!

I walked into the Commons, checked my mail, and was casually scanning the room to see if he was in there.  And he was.  He was over on the other side of the room, sitting in a chair talking with Josh.  So, as any girl would do, I casually made my way over to say "hey" and see how they were doing.  At first Matt didn't really look at me or say much, so I was starting to get a little disappointed.  Maybe I had made it all up!  But soon after that, when I was headed back to my room, Matt walked a little ways with me, then said, "Do you want to go to supper later?"  "Sure." I said, quite pleased.

I rushed back to my room and was going to wait there until it was time to meet him for supper.  One of my roommates was was back, so I finally told her all about Matt and all that had gone on.  She was really excited for me.  But I made her promise not to tell anyone, especially our roomie, Jenn. Jenn would be so excited, and I didn't want everyone getting all excited over nothing.  As supper time approached, I got more and more excited, and more and more nervous!   So, as any good girl would, I called all my friends that were back on campus and took them all with me.  Haha.  Matt still teases me about it.  Just what he was thinking when he asked me to supper - just him, me, and 5 of my friends!

We had a fun time, even though I think he was a little disappointed it wasn't just us two.  But hey, I was nervous. I was out of my realm.  I had never been in a situation like this before.

I was on uncharted territory...

(I didn't realize this was going to be so many posts, but I am trying to wrap it up - only 1 more day until our anniversary where I will hopefully finish it up!  Stay tuned!)

Until next time...

Our Story - Part 5

(If you are just joining me in my telling of Our Story, click here to catch up.)

I didn't have to wait very long to have some of those questions answered.  After I had done all my responsibilities, and Quiet Hours was over, I had a meeting I needed to attend.  This was a meeting that was held every Monday night with all the female RAs and floorleaders and staff in charge of the dorms.  I was on my way to that meeting with my friend, Christy, when we stopped by to check if either of us had gotten anything in PH mail.

PH (or Pan Hellenic) mail was a mail delivery system set up on campus where you could send letters and packages to the other dorms, which was delivered nightly.  It was very exciting when you got something, which I rarely did.  But this night, yes, this night was different.  We walked by the table where the letters were sitting, and Christy said, "Hey!  Here's a letter for you."  She grabbed it and we hopped in the elevator.  As we were riding down the 7 flights, I looked on the outside of the envelope.

"Whose it from?"  Christy asked.  "I don't know.  I don't recognize the handwriting."  I said. "Maybe its from a boy!"  Christy said and started to get all excited.  "Open it!"  I opened the envelope and saw it was a thank you card.  I opened it and immediately a smile appeared on my face.  Christy saw my reaction and said, "It is from a boy!  Who?"  As the elevator doors opened and we started walking to the meeting, I briefly caught her up to date on how I sorta had a "crush" (I hate that word, but can't think of a better word to use here) on Matt and I had bought him breadsticks.....

Well, she was so excited for me and started telling a bunch of people in the meeting that "Emily got a letter from a boy!"  I was starting to get embarrassed because I didn't want word to get back to Matt about how excited I was over a simple thank you note.  The note simply thanked me for the breadsticks and teased me again about bringing them into the Commons.  I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night.  Until "the" phone call happened a little after 11 p.m.

I was down at my desk after lights out, doing my paperwork when the phone rang.  "Bradley Desk."  I answered in my normal greeting.  "Hey!  How's it going?"  It was him.  He called me.  And I was so excited - and we hadn't even talked about anything yet!  How silly!  We chatted for a while, just talking about little insignificant things, but I was smiling the whole time.  This was the first time he had seemed to take this much interest in me.  You remember me saying I saw something different in the way he looked at me, well, now I sensed it in his voice.  Hmm.  What was I to do with this?  We finished up our chat and I finished my work and headed up to bed.  I couldn't wait to see him again. 

The next time we saw each other, we didn't act too much differently than what we had been.  He was, after all, still seeing the other girl, although I didn't see them together as much.  The rest of the semester passed much as it had been before.  Matt, Josh, Betsey, and I going to suppers together, me trying not to read into things that Matt said and did and still praying that God would help me to stop these feelings because Matt was with another girl.  Yet my feelings remained.

It was a couple weeks later, the last night before we all were able to go home.  It was the night of our Christmas Banquet, another one of the formals that we all had to attend.  I, as usual, was going with my group of girl friends.  We always had fun going to these together, but this time I was having a hard time with not having a date.  I found myself looking everywhere for Matt, even though I knew he would be with the girl.  After we had our supper and went to the auditorium for the program I saw him.  And the girl.  It is silly, really.  I KNEW he would be with he.  I KNEW it.  But yet, some small part of me wished that he would be with a bunch of guys.  I was disappointed, but tried not to let it show.

After the program, everyone headed back to their dorms and it was lights out again.  I was busily doing my work, almost ready to close up for the night, when the phone rang.  "Bradley Desk."  "Hey."  To be honest, I didn't really want to hear his voice at the moment.  I was mad at him for going to the banquet with his girlfriend.  Again, how silly.  But, I decided to not be rude and to talk with him.  We chatted for a few minutes when I asked, "So, did you enjoy the banquet tonight?"  "No, actually I didn't." was his quick reply.  I remember I had been sitting in my chair, swinging my leg back and forth.  When I heard his answer, my leg stopped swinging and I sat up a little straighter.  "Why?" I asked, my curiosity definitely perked.

He then went on to explain that earlier that day, he and his girlfriend had officially ended things. It was a "good" breakup - they both knew it was time for it, so there weren't any hard feelings.  But, they still went to the banquet together because Matt had their tickets and they couldn't change them that late.  So it was maybe a little awkward for both of them which is why he did not have too good of a time. (I still like to think that it was because he was wishing he was with me instead! ;-) )

I have to be honest.  I was a little happy to hear this.  Oh, just typing that makes me sound so mean, but it is true.  I then reprimanded myself for being happy about it and said, "Oh, I am sorry.  That's too bad." (Yeah right!)  "Its really okay." he assured me, and I started to have a whole conversation with myself and God  internally while I was talking with Matt.

"No, God.  I have been praying for you to take these feelings away, and here he is, telling me he is not dating anyone, and I find my hopes rising that maybe, just maybe, he is slightly interested in me!  Help me, Lord!"  I am not going to say that the Lord "said" anything to me at that moment, but I will say that I suddenly felt that it was okay for me to give in and now change my prayer from having my feelings go away to the Lord showing me His will in the matter.

And it was that conversation, which, by the way, ended up lasting about 2 hours, that I look back on as a turning point in our "relationship" (although he says it was the breadsticks for him, but more on that later.).  During that conversation, we talked about everything.  The one part that we both remember the most was when we were talking about ministry.  He felt called to the ministry, and I had mentioned that I have always felt that I was called to marry someone in the ministry.  That brought up a series of questions that he started asking me.  "Do you think that the wife is called to the ministry, or the man?"  "The man." was my reply.  "So, you would go with him anywhere he goes?"  "Yup.  My job is to take care of him, so that he can take care of the ministry God gives him."  "So you would go anywhere with your husband?  Anywhere?"  "I sure would."  (Ha!  I certainly wouldn't have dreamed at the time that I would end up in Canada!!!)  "So, if God called your husband to Antarctica, would you go?" "I would put on my coat and go with him."  I said without a moment's hesitation.  "Really?"  he asked?  "Yes I would."

We talked some more, then realized how late it was and hung up the phone.  I headed up to my room and went to bed, replaying all that we had talked about and thinking and praying for the Lord's direction in whatever was happening with this.  I wasn't sure and didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed.  I still wanted to guard my heart.  If only I knew then what was happening over in Ballard at the desk Matt was sitting, then my thoughts would not have been quite so unclear and uncertain. 

Matt hung up the phone, looked at his friend Caleb who was there and said, 

"I think I just found my wife."

Until next time...

Our Story - Part 4

(If you want to read the previous parts to Our Story, click here)

The idea occurred to us during our 4 p.m. Missions class that we had after Hebrews and James that Monday in November.  Betsey and I were sitting in our seats (which were right next to each other - Dr. Bucy didn't care if we sat in our assigned seats - just as long as we were there) when we both "confessed" that we were craving Fazoli's - and more specifically their breadsticks.  I don't know if you have ever eaten at a Fazoli's restaurant, but it is on my top 5 favorite restaurants list.  I love it.  I haven't eaten there in about 2 years, but that is beside the point.  And I absolutely love their breadsticks.  And Betsey and I really wanted them.  So we decided to go there for supper instead of eating on campus.

But there was a tiny problem with that plan - Betsey had already agreed to meet Josh for supper.  Thinking that tonight would be one of the nights that Matt would not join us, I didn't really care to eat on campus, so I told Bets that we would just go find Josh after class and tell him we changed our minds and were going off campus to eat.  He could find someone else to eat with - he was a popular guy!  (Mom, when you read this, I KNOW this was rude and I should not have done it - but hey - I had BREADSTICKS on my mind!! Haha!)

So after class that is just what we did.  We headed over to the dinning area where we were supposed to meet Josh.  As we were walking up, I saw "something" that almost made me change my mind and want to eat there instead.  Matt was with Josh!  I was on the verge of telling Bets that we should just stay there, when I caught myself.  "No!"  I thought internally.  "You are trying to get away from these feelings for Matt, so you need to go off and spend some quality time with your good friend Betsey and not stay here.  Staying here and eating with Matt and Josh will not help you one bit!"  So I kept quiet about changing my mind and we walked up to them.

"Hey guys, we changed our minds.  We want to go off campus and eat supper, so we will see you later." I told them.  They asked us where we were going and we told them.  They then asked us if we would be back in time for Mission Prayer Band later on that night.  We said we would and they said they would see us there.  We started to walk away when I - on the spur of the moment and without much thought - said, "Can we bring you all anything back?"  Matt jokingly said, "Yes, you can bring me some breadsticks."  "Okay. Bye."  And then we were off.

We went to Fazoli's, ordered our food and sat down.  I remember that being one of the best conversations Bets and I had in a long time.  We both were encouraging each other and we really had an enjoyable time.  Before we knew it, we realized that we needed to leave right away or we would be late for Mission Prayer Band.  We started to leave when I remembered that I had told Matt I would bring them some breadsticks.  Still feeling bad about ditching them last minute for supper, I went up to order a dozen breadsticks.  I got them (which, by the way, the guy at the cash just gave them to me - no charge!) and we headed out.  We got back on campus and were rushing to get to Mission Prayer Band when I realized something.  I couldn't take the breadsticks into the meeting, which was in the upper level of the Commons.  And, technically, we were not supposed to bring outside food into the Commons.  But, since we were late and I was going to give them to the guys after the meeting, I took them in and hid them in a cubbyhole in the Commons.  I know, I know.  I was a student leader on campus and here I was, breaking the rules.  But remember - I was a leader but NOT perfect!  So there!

We got to Mission Prayer Band, and I was looking for Matt and Josh, but there were so many people there that I could not find them.  (I found out later on that Matt was looking for us and had been saving a seat for me!  Huh!)  When the meeting was finished, we found them and I told them that I had some breadsticks for them.  "Really?"  They said, surprised that I actually did bring them some.  "Yep.  12 breadsticks - just for you."  So we headed over to where I had hid them.  (I need to let you all know now that I cannot for the life of me remember where Josh and Betsey were at this point.  All I remember is me and Matt going to get the breadsticks!  Ha! I don't know if they were still there with us or not!)

I handed the breadsticks to Matt, and he began to "reprimand" me for bringing in outside food into the Commons (which now in hindsight clearly sounds more like flirting then reprimanding).  I told him that he really owed me for "risking demerits" for him.  We laughed, then started to go our separate ways because it was Quiet Hours and we both had RA responsibilities during that time.

We both had started to walk away when he called after me.  "Hey, Emily." "Ya?" I said as I turned around.  "Thanks for these."  "Sure."  "Uh," he said as he looked down at his hands (can you believe that I actually remember these small details?).  Then he looked back up at me, and I distinctly remember seeing a changed look in his eyes that made my heart beat a little faster.  "Would you mind if I called you sometime?" he finally said.  "Sure." I answered, trying to play it all cool, when in reality I was internally jumping up and down and smiling REALLY BIG!

We then turned and went our separate ways.  When my back was to him and I was walking to my dorm I'm sure I had that silly and goofy looking grin on my face that people get when something really neat happens to them.  It really was nothing big.  But to me, it was so exciting.  I went about my job the rest of that evening with a skip in my step and probably a hum on my lips.  He had only asked if he could call me sometime - but that wasn't what I was running over and over in my mind.  It was the look I had seen in his eye.  The change in how he looked at me.

What did it mean?  And most importantly, would he call me?  And when?

Until next time...