Our Story - Part 5

(If you are just joining me in my telling of Our Story, click here to catch up.)

I didn't have to wait very long to have some of those questions answered.  After I had done all my responsibilities, and Quiet Hours was over, I had a meeting I needed to attend.  This was a meeting that was held every Monday night with all the female RAs and floorleaders and staff in charge of the dorms.  I was on my way to that meeting with my friend, Christy, when we stopped by to check if either of us had gotten anything in PH mail.

PH (or Pan Hellenic) mail was a mail delivery system set up on campus where you could send letters and packages to the other dorms, which was delivered nightly.  It was very exciting when you got something, which I rarely did.  But this night, yes, this night was different.  We walked by the table where the letters were sitting, and Christy said, "Hey!  Here's a letter for you."  She grabbed it and we hopped in the elevator.  As we were riding down the 7 flights, I looked on the outside of the envelope.

"Whose it from?"  Christy asked.  "I don't know.  I don't recognize the handwriting."  I said. "Maybe its from a boy!"  Christy said and started to get all excited.  "Open it!"  I opened the envelope and saw it was a thank you card.  I opened it and immediately a smile appeared on my face.  Christy saw my reaction and said, "It is from a boy!  Who?"  As the elevator doors opened and we started walking to the meeting, I briefly caught her up to date on how I sorta had a "crush" (I hate that word, but can't think of a better word to use here) on Matt and I had bought him breadsticks.....

Well, she was so excited for me and started telling a bunch of people in the meeting that "Emily got a letter from a boy!"  I was starting to get embarrassed because I didn't want word to get back to Matt about how excited I was over a simple thank you note.  The note simply thanked me for the breadsticks and teased me again about bringing them into the Commons.  I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the night.  Until "the" phone call happened a little after 11 p.m.

I was down at my desk after lights out, doing my paperwork when the phone rang.  "Bradley Desk."  I answered in my normal greeting.  "Hey!  How's it going?"  It was him.  He called me.  And I was so excited - and we hadn't even talked about anything yet!  How silly!  We chatted for a while, just talking about little insignificant things, but I was smiling the whole time.  This was the first time he had seemed to take this much interest in me.  You remember me saying I saw something different in the way he looked at me, well, now I sensed it in his voice.  Hmm.  What was I to do with this?  We finished up our chat and I finished my work and headed up to bed.  I couldn't wait to see him again. 

The next time we saw each other, we didn't act too much differently than what we had been.  He was, after all, still seeing the other girl, although I didn't see them together as much.  The rest of the semester passed much as it had been before.  Matt, Josh, Betsey, and I going to suppers together, me trying not to read into things that Matt said and did and still praying that God would help me to stop these feelings because Matt was with another girl.  Yet my feelings remained.

It was a couple weeks later, the last night before we all were able to go home.  It was the night of our Christmas Banquet, another one of the formals that we all had to attend.  I, as usual, was going with my group of girl friends.  We always had fun going to these together, but this time I was having a hard time with not having a date.  I found myself looking everywhere for Matt, even though I knew he would be with the girl.  After we had our supper and went to the auditorium for the program I saw him.  And the girl.  It is silly, really.  I KNEW he would be with he.  I KNEW it.  But yet, some small part of me wished that he would be with a bunch of guys.  I was disappointed, but tried not to let it show.

After the program, everyone headed back to their dorms and it was lights out again.  I was busily doing my work, almost ready to close up for the night, when the phone rang.  "Bradley Desk."  "Hey."  To be honest, I didn't really want to hear his voice at the moment.  I was mad at him for going to the banquet with his girlfriend.  Again, how silly.  But, I decided to not be rude and to talk with him.  We chatted for a few minutes when I asked, "So, did you enjoy the banquet tonight?"  "No, actually I didn't." was his quick reply.  I remember I had been sitting in my chair, swinging my leg back and forth.  When I heard his answer, my leg stopped swinging and I sat up a little straighter.  "Why?" I asked, my curiosity definitely perked.

He then went on to explain that earlier that day, he and his girlfriend had officially ended things. It was a "good" breakup - they both knew it was time for it, so there weren't any hard feelings.  But, they still went to the banquet together because Matt had their tickets and they couldn't change them that late.  So it was maybe a little awkward for both of them which is why he did not have too good of a time. (I still like to think that it was because he was wishing he was with me instead! ;-) )

I have to be honest.  I was a little happy to hear this.  Oh, just typing that makes me sound so mean, but it is true.  I then reprimanded myself for being happy about it and said, "Oh, I am sorry.  That's too bad." (Yeah right!)  "Its really okay." he assured me, and I started to have a whole conversation with myself and God  internally while I was talking with Matt.

"No, God.  I have been praying for you to take these feelings away, and here he is, telling me he is not dating anyone, and I find my hopes rising that maybe, just maybe, he is slightly interested in me!  Help me, Lord!"  I am not going to say that the Lord "said" anything to me at that moment, but I will say that I suddenly felt that it was okay for me to give in and now change my prayer from having my feelings go away to the Lord showing me His will in the matter.

And it was that conversation, which, by the way, ended up lasting about 2 hours, that I look back on as a turning point in our "relationship" (although he says it was the breadsticks for him, but more on that later.).  During that conversation, we talked about everything.  The one part that we both remember the most was when we were talking about ministry.  He felt called to the ministry, and I had mentioned that I have always felt that I was called to marry someone in the ministry.  That brought up a series of questions that he started asking me.  "Do you think that the wife is called to the ministry, or the man?"  "The man." was my reply.  "So, you would go with him anywhere he goes?"  "Yup.  My job is to take care of him, so that he can take care of the ministry God gives him."  "So you would go anywhere with your husband?  Anywhere?"  "I sure would."  (Ha!  I certainly wouldn't have dreamed at the time that I would end up in Canada!!!)  "So, if God called your husband to Antarctica, would you go?" "I would put on my coat and go with him."  I said without a moment's hesitation.  "Really?"  he asked?  "Yes I would."

We talked some more, then realized how late it was and hung up the phone.  I headed up to my room and went to bed, replaying all that we had talked about and thinking and praying for the Lord's direction in whatever was happening with this.  I wasn't sure and didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed.  I still wanted to guard my heart.  If only I knew then what was happening over in Ballard at the desk Matt was sitting, then my thoughts would not have been quite so unclear and uncertain. 

Matt hung up the phone, looked at his friend Caleb who was there and said, 

"I think I just found my wife."

Until next time...