Changing the Game Plan

I've thought about this post for over a week now.  I debated whether I should write it or not.  The reason I was debating was because if I wrote it, I would be confessing a real weakness of mine that I have not wanted to admit to myself or anyone else.  But God has really convicted me lately of this shortcoming, and I think if I get it all out in the open and admit to it, it will help me to keep motivated to change.  So, what's this weakness of mine?

I'm lazy.  Downright lazy.  And I hate it.  I guess the main way to show that I am lazy is the fact that I do not rise early in the morning, before my kids and husband, to get ready for the day.  I lay in bed until I can no longer do so.  I wait until my kids are up either calling for me, or climbing in our bed.  Often, I will get up with them, give them a granola bar and drink, put on a video and go lay down for "just a few more minutes."  Sometimes I put them in Liam's room and have them play until I get up.  I did just that this morning.  Then, when I do decide to get up, they are all hungry for breakfast, I throw something together (most often some oatmeal in the microwave) and then spend the rest of my day all frustrated because things aren't going the way I want them to.  I always feel behind on housework.  Then, at the end of the day, I fall into bed, exhausted and frustrated because it was not a great day - the kids were whiny, Matt didn't put his dirty clothes where I wanted them...  And then I wake up the next day and do it all over again.

I used to think of myself as a pretty patient person.  But lately, I have found that I can lose my patience over the simplest things and so, so quickly.  I have lost my cool with my kids WAY more than I even want to think about.  And immediately, I regret it and get upset with myself for having lost it just because my kids were being kids.  It has gone even as far as affecting how I react to Matt.  I am short with him, get irritated at things that are no big deal.  And I regret that too.

You know the saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."  Well, that's how its been in our house for a good while now.  I have seen how my attitude is affecting my whole family and making us all bicker and squabble and fight with each other.

For a while I would try to see what was causing me to have such a hard time.  I would think and think of what the reason was behind my problem.  Of course, I thought of everything under the sun besides myself - the stress of ministry, the long winter, issues with other family members...  Surely it was someone else's fault.  But, these past few weeks God has shown me that I have no one to blame but myself.

The "reason" behind my attitude was simple.  I was unorganized, lazy, and tired.  You see, I am a night owl.  I love to stay up late at night.  That is when I think the clearest and have the most energy.  And that was perfect in college when my job would keep me up until at least midnight each night - later on most nights.  But it isn't quite so perfect now.  So I have been keeping the same night hours as I did ten years ago.  So when morning rolls around, I don't want to get up, and am then unprepared for when my kids get up.  I then start the vicious cycle of bad attitudes and irritability.

All that is about to change.  Through different people, messages, and even blogs I have read, God has clearly shown me that I need to make some major changes in my life for not only my sake, but the sanity of my precious family.  I don't want to be the irritable wife that my husband tries to avoid confrontation with.  I want my kids to remember their mommy happy and contented and meek.  So, starting tomorrow, my game plan is going to change.  This "challenge" so to speak is being driven in part by the new blog I came across called Inspired to Action.  The author of this blog has written a free ebook called Maximize Your Mornings that deals with all this.  She did a challenge regarding this just recently, and although I am a little behind them all, I am starting it now.

So, beginning tomorrow, I am going to get up before my family, have my quiet time with God instead of sneaking it in sometime during the day or before I go to bed, try to do a little exercising, and take a shower.  I really believe that if I do all this, I will be more prepared to greet my family and the day with a new outlook.  Now, getting up earlier means I need to go to bed earlier as well.  So, starting tonight, I am going to do just that.  I am still going to "allow" myself to stay up a little late since I like it so much, but no more midnights for me (well, not on a regular basis!)  As the book Maximize Your Mornings suggests, I am going to take baby steps to this at first in order to not burn myself out and get frustrated and give up.  So I am going to set my get up time back in 15 minute increments until I am to my desired time.  So, here's my basic Game Plan.

7:00 a.m. - Get up! (I eventually want to move this to 6:30!)
7 - 7:15 a.m. - Shower (this will help me to wake up!) and get dressed
7:15 a.m. - Start coffee for hubby
7:15 - 7:45 a.m. - Devotions
7:45 a.m. - Get Libby and Liam up (they both are usually awake by now.)
7:45 - 8:15 a.m. - exercise (this will either be going for a walk or doing the Wii Fit.  With my bad back, I am very, very limited in what I can do.  I can't run, jump, etc so it makes exercising quite difficult for me.)
8:15 a.m. - Breakfast for kids.
8:15 a.m. and on - go about my day!
11:00 p.m. go to bed (I am thinking I may change this later on to 10:30.  Ha!  We shall see!)

Once I have myself getting up at the time I want, I will have more time for each thing.  But this is how we will start off.  I am really wanting to do this as I am so convinced it will help our lives.  I am going to have accountability partners who I am going to ask to check up on me.  My husband, of course, is going to be one and then I will have another one as well.  And now, of course, you all.  I plan to update you all on how I am doing over the next few weeks.  We will see how it goes!  Truthfully, I am a little excited for this!  I'm ready for a change!

Well, there you have it!  That is how God is working in my life and what He has shown me I need to change.  Thanks for "listening."

Until next time...